Two large cases cancelled today, so I got home very early. To a warm, dry, early summer's day. More digging, cleared a large bag of vegetation, prepared the swath by the hedge for a large anti-snail process of sand, a bit of copper, and plantings. D had Moby out to sit among the greenery, which was good company for me as I dug. After I'd done all I could, Eleanor mewed to be taken out as well. She rolled on the sidewalk, then relaxed among the clover.
The community gardens sponsor a garden tour every year. I applied to be on the tour this June. No idea if they will consider it a good fit, but we shall see. I think I'd have been much cheered, that first year, to see a garden like mine, and talk to a gardener like me. A bit of a mess, a work in progress, but so alive and cheerful.
A bunch of us last evening having a bit of a rant about the (hopefully) soon to be gone manager. Not the sort of thing that is helpful, not really, but we are all a bit disheartened and frightened. On the other hand, I really am not the only one. No one is holding out much hope about the replacement, we are like abused children waiting for the next punch. I figure just having an OR nurse in charge will be a significant improvement, but this is an minority opinion.
The EAP counselor was also exasperated that managers so often send people to them, instead of being managers and solving issues themselves. He gave me some concrete methods of dealing with difficult people and situations, mental toughness exercises. He sympathized with my situation, and did not feel I needed more than a few more tools in my bag.
1. Goal setting. Immediate, very short term. As in, the next five minutes, or even seconds. A 3 foot world, very simple.
2. Self talk. Simple, positive, and in my case, calming. Not slow, but deliberate and attentive. I have been doing this, but a refresher is always good.
3. Mental rehearsal. For the specific situation that routinely trips me up. In my case, not being able to find words when I am working through a mental list and get badly and unexpectedly interrupted. I'm going for excess cuteness, since it is usually younger women who trigger this. "Sweetie-pie!" Hard to object to, given the target, and it may give me time to think and act with attention.
4. Arousal Control. Breathing rhythmically apparently works very well. A dance, 1 2 3 4 in, 5 6 7 8 out.
For me, keeping my sense of humor is going to be key. Like imagining Penguins in sweaters.
7 comments:
garden looking good.
helpful, constructive suggestions. Many of us could use them
gz,
I'm guessing everyone, really. Few of us achieve perfect calmness and communication at all times.
The penguin in the Penguin sweater!
I just posted a napping puppy... a related idea--something soothing & amusing.
In my experience, few managers know how to be managers,
often because no one bothered to train them before promoting them. (Like, who taught college teachers how to teach? No one.)
At least they now have EAP counselors to refer underlings to. ("underlings")
I agree your garden would be excellent on a tour, as a work-in-process--to return to every year and see how it grows.
3 foot world - i like. it may come in handy for my work-related crap.
pc,
I think it was this speech the counselor was referring to,
https://youtu.be/pxBQLFLei70
I was wondering if you were alone in your dislike of your manager, it is good to know you aren't.
Phil,
Only a few of the new people don't see quite how bad she is, I am by no means the only one she bullied. Far from it.
Post a Comment