Marching

March.



Find contentment.


Learn from those who know.

Freedom

Zeppo knows to wake Dylan up at 0500 for food. He's quite vocal on the subject.

A hard week, and I do not want to talk about it. I do have to write about it officially, which is why my gut is knotted, and here is not where.

Lovely neighbors moved out Sunday, his fellowship year is elsewhere, they may be back. They still own the house. New neighbors are very nice, with two elderly dogs.

My back giving me trouble again, so I've got the electrostim on.

Two links for you, How Southern Socialites rewrote the Civil War.
And a documentary about the origins of the EMS, and why defunding the police was part of that, and needs to be part of today's issues. More here.

Butter

Rain through the night, heavy rain with thunder and lightning, soaking rain. The garden is lush and cool.

Thinking about the toxic culture of police, I thought also about how bad doctors once were. Little gods with no accountability, then the lawsuits poured over, and they had to change. They had to learn how to police themselves, and hospitals set up procedures, and doctors had to testify against unethical doctors, explaining why they didn't step in and protect the patients over the egos of the doctors. Still imperfect, but the culture has improved vastly in the past 10-20 years. Our health care system is still an unholy mess, but this aspect has improved vastly. The old MDs who could do no wrong are aging out.

Wrong site surgeries are also way down, due to processes based on airplane checklists.

Plane crashes are way down because of procedures put in place after way too many fell out of the sky and killed people.

The police issue seems intractable, but it's a matter of changing the culture with systemic processes along with oversight and accountability.

Medicine actually started this process, of M&Ms, Morbidity and Mortality, to address poor outcomes. Then failed to make it public and themselves accountable. Emphasising confidentiality is a mistake at the heart of what should have been a potent check/balance.

Everything must be up for scrutiny, and we must all take responsibility. The danger is less in power than in unchecked power. Turn on the light, and really look.

There is an article about how fake news spreads faster than truth. Not surprising, a story can be crafted to appeal to what people want to believe. Facts are often not appealing, raw and naked - belief doesn't change them, magical thinking does not alter them. Lies can shape shift to fill any gaping fear or unfulfilled wish, they don't have to be consistent or provable. Facts sit like rocks, unconforming.

So, we have to tell better stories, like laminar water over the boulders, keeping the shape and bringing out the colors, while still warning of the danger truthfully. Facts have to be churned into truth butter, with a dash of salt.

Resurgence

How to quarantine right.

At the slightest provocation from COVID-19, Mongolia would — in public health terms — go apeshit. If there were zero cases, they reacted like it was a thousand. With one case, they reacted like it was ten thousand.
Given a virus that multiplies exponentially, this is exactly what you’re supposed to do. Either you’re going apeshit or the virus is. Those are the only choices, at least if you want to win.

Another thing I’ll note after talking to more people is that Mongolian people made this happen. In my country, for example, getting this level of compliance early in the epidemic would have been nearly impossible. For many reasons, Mongolian people felt responsible for each other, understood what was going on, and made this response happen.

The yellow roses bloom again. Only these and thyme and clover. Well, and the onions, always onions. White flowers, and small, but the bees are happy enough. Not all that pleasing to this human eye, that prefers strong reds and purples, but I learn to appreciate here, and now.



Just re-read Small Gods, it was particularly apt.

Red-bugge day for Zeppo, since he woke Dylan up repeatedly last night. Tire him out chasing the laser pointer. We don't bring it out every day, and there are other balls for him to chase, but the redbugge is irresistible to him. And he gets a good hard day of exercise.

Be well, do what you can.

Grade

The garden is more enthusiastic after the weekend rain and then the sun. Sebastian cat lurking near the hedge in my... age, HIS garden. Eleanor in the window behind me. Hot winds and fire warnings up for later today. I watered a bit last night and this morning. Compost is idle, being dry, and this is not the day to fix that.

Found a spider on the rain barrel, so I asked her permission for a photo, and recorded her for inaturalist.com. I'm always thrilled when one of my photos gets labeled "Research Grade" on there. (See sidebar) These photos might qualify next.



Walked the garden this morning and found not one spiky-seed grass. Other weeds certainly, and elm seedlings, but I've gotten it all down to the inevitable but small annoyance stage. The sunflowers and mustard have crowded them out, and I've plucked the rest. Never thought I'd manage to get this far.

The skateboard protest Thursday was awesome, so much energy and movement. I knew they were meeting at the park and going downtown, but not their route. So when I heard the skateboards, I ran out to wave. Bikes, rollerskates, all stuff with wheels. Nice symbolism too, this rolling wave of change in the face of entrenched racism and stubborn authority. Strip the police off, like a garden infested. Lay new soil and start fresh. Build it up with more variety, more services for the poor, the homeless, the mentally ill, maybe a better focus on detectives working property crimes and domestic violence, and cops walking neighborhoods, get 'em out of their precious, safe, car bubbles. More oversight, more diversity, refocus them on deescalation and connecting troubled people to help instead of punishment. No money from ticketing traffic violations, only correction and assistance. No weapons, only defensive martial arts. There is research about this, it doesn't have to be invented out of whole cloth.

Change gonna come.

Tails

Late to the dentist, early this morning. New dentist, all the modern equipment. They made it comfortable, as much as possible. And I need several old cavity repairs re done, cracked fillings and darkening areas. For two years since last cleaned, it wasn't too bad. This is the story of my life right now, "Not too bad for my age." I'm going with this. The expense will wipe out the inheritance remainder, but at last I have it.

My old dentist was already getting close to retirement, and had health problems. No doubt this plague put the seal on it, I have not gotten a postcard suggesting a cleaning. So, I have a young dentist to get me through the next couple of decades. Very high tech, too.

June

Cold June storm rolls in,
Clouds pouring hail, making mud,
Garden breathes deeply.

AC and Furnace in a single week. More storms this evening, this time over the lake so likely even more water. I hope the mountains get more snow. This was all well predicted, wave after wave trudging across the valley.

Feckless

More rain.

Light Rain
49°F
9°C
Humidity 83%
Wind Speed N 18 MPH
Barometer 29.79 in (1008.81 mb)
Dewpoint 44°F (7°C)
Visibility 10.00 mi
Wind Chill 43°F (6°C)
Last update 07 Jun 11:54 AM MDT

Lots of dreams, cats wandering through many of them. Eleanor chasing through a meadow that used to be at the arboretum. And I rode back and forth on a sort of short skateboard along the center axis of a house, an amalgam of this House, Aunt Alma's, on flat floormats. Once, my mother reached a hand around as I rolled past, and I took it and swirled around and hugged her. Not a warm happy, but not bad either. Weirdly neutral.

I sent my niece a b-day text yesterday, and got a friendly enough reply. I'm not sure why I did this, but it felt like the right thing. I try to respond when an internal prompt says, "do this, it's a correct action" without overthinking it. I can always overthink it later. I always have remembered her birthday. But when I tried to think of my other niece, her sister's, birthday, I had no idea. I looked it up, and it rang not a bell in my memory. I knew neither of them well, and only as small children, intermittently, as they are 13, 15 years younger. Teenagers are wrapped up in their own drama, especially when the drama is real. Then the bad marriage. Then lived thousands of miles away. And never had a feel for kids. Or family feeling, rather the opposite, more of an anti-family impulse.

Rains poured down last evening, and my rain barrel out front toppled, missing the newly planted grasses. I set up again this morning. I've looked into stands, and they get terrible ratings. The concrete tiles and blocks are sitting on dirt that I recently dug up to remove the shrub and defunct sprinkler controller, which is why it failed. Ah, well, there is supposed to be more rain today and tomorrow as well. The weather seemed to keep most of the helicopters grounded, which made sleeping easier. Tired of the racket, can only imagine how stressful living with that over years would be.

The rainbow flag went up this week. Took me three tries, the wind took it down, so I put up a new nail, wind took it down, I added gear ties, it stayed. I want to do something for Black Lives Matter, as well. It all seems rather important, but also important to do it right, and I'm not clear what that will be.

Found a knit, all cotton, long, shapeless, dress that is working wonderfully as a nightgown. Not at all flattering, so I won't be wearing it out and about, but it's lovely to sleep in. And it was 60% off. PJ pants were getting more and more uncomfortable, riding up and digging in. I don't like sleeping without any clothes, and sleep shirts wind up at my waist, bunching at my back. I like when I get up being able to walk around more or less decently, again for my own comfort. Sit down and have fabric between me and the chair sort of thing. My changing shape, more like a pear, and fluffier, wants clothes that waft, slip and breathe. I get that women of my mother's and grandmother's generations would sometimes only wear slips about the house in hot weather. Haven't owned a slip since I'd've had to buy one myself, and I've never done that either.

Waiting for the elm seedlings to declare themselves definitively as elms, then plucking them, or even digging them if possible. Everything seems to have grown by several inches overnight. On a half inch of rain. Also picked a fair amount of trash off the front garden, blown in by gusty winds or dropped by feckless pedestrians.

Long long ago, I saw Apocalypse Now in a theater with my roommate. Driving home, I made some sort of flippant remark, which seemed to shock her. It was my way of coping with that disturbing movie. Dark humor is my first and last refuge in the face of horror and loss, probably in the middle as well. All the welling up of ages old injustices with a light froth of current injustice, rattles me to my bones. I have to get up and go to work, so I quip and let it break over me. Or it will take me under.

Shamrocks

One of our neighbors, and we are blessed with so many good neighbors, asked if I would take the pulp from her juicing for my compost. I said absolutely and gave her two 5Gallon buckets, so she could fill one and bring the already full one. Their muppet of a dog, Lucy, has been a floppy bundle of cheer over the last year and a bit. She got attached to me when I was home recovering with my fractured wrist last year.

All the dogs are mine, even if I never get to pet them. I've claimed them all, and let them live with their other humans.

The garden is subdued these days, only tiny or discreet blooms.

Clover.



Thyme.



Lettuce.



Onion.



Cornflower.



The shamrocks I've kept sheltered and shaded survive.



Or waiting to bloom.



The rose that was once engulfed by the Hedge, sickly with deadwood, now well pruned (or at least much pruned) thrives. Not my favorite color of rose, but pretty enough.



I wonder how old she is.



And it rains.

Tree

Our first year the garden was rough, and the tree merely a tree to me.



I eventually figured out it is a Kentucky Coffee Tree. The city came to raise it one year, took a bit off the bottom.



It's grown, and provides a lot of afternoon shade.





I've grown to love our tree.

Claws

I got his claws trimmed, they were pretty bad and catching him. He is very unhappy being picked up, but the actually trimming is not a big deal. Zeppo snuggled up to Dylan last evening, then Eleanor leaned into both of them, tail around Zeppo. I think they are happy with us.

Sick of the helicopters, maybe they won't happen tonight since the 'curfew' seems to be lifted. I'm trying not to feel this too much, because the violence inside me is. It's also hot and dry. This is big important change, and painful, not much I can do, but stay in readiness. Endure. Keep peaceful in myself. Watch closely, act when the right action needs to happen.



Watch for signs.

Hum

So much heat so early. My fast (but thorough) surgeon finished up early, so I watered the overheated garden.

Cute little hummingbirds from r/aww

Here are hummingbirds.