Full

Raining, rain yesterday, rain this evening. A wet garden full of seeds.

Miserable, but mercifully short day at work. I can't explain, other than to say displaced anger is vile, especially for anyone in charge of anything. All over now, no repercussions, save the feeling I've been gut punched. Came home, and examined the ground, pulled a couple of sneaky weeds. Cleared away the dead leaves and stalks around the mint, showing off the brilliant green beneath.

Going in to cover lunches and breaks tomorrow, a full schedule, but not very long running. Still, good to get relief, and the relief, in this case me, will be appreciated. Thursday meager, and Friday empty. The surgeons will be attending Academy.

The house will be cleaner, and the garden more tended. I will get my head in a better space thereby.

My anesthesiologist today, a smart, feisty young woman, very short, Indian, talking about her husband's Tennessee grandmother meeting her for the first time. "What tribe is she from?" assuming she was Native American, not Hindu. Even after being informed, she assumed they would have to live on 'The Reservation.' Can't get her mouth around her grandsons' names, Dr.W says. But she likes her, and feels her grandmother-in-law does her best. Our scrub, P, tells of her grandson David, that the Pakistani side of the family calls Davi. When they once called him David, he minded, because Davi made him feel special to that side of his kin.

My paternal grandmother never bothered to say my name properly, and no, it's not hard to say in French - which she spoke. The very last of only two granddaughters, I didn't count compared to the two grandsons. There was another much older grandson, died as a child, long before I was born, and from what I could glean, pretty badly emotionally abused - well on his way to a personality disorder when the leukemia got him. Not being valued on that side of the family was no doubt a blessing, I escaped with only a few flesh wounds.

The rain falls, and the garden breathes, and I smile and shake off the the accretions. Weeding is eternal, and that's fine.