Ojos

Visited my ophthalmologist this morning, which is always a trial and a tribulation. Took the train up, they got me in immediately, even though I was early. Treated my poor sensitive eyes with tolerance, which has not always been the case. I've been castigated for my blinking, tearing and reflexive recoiling before. But the young woman physician assistant* who did the exam was kind and patient, which I appreciated. And the blue light is better than the air puff, although not by that much. The drops hurt, and no matter what I do, no matter how tough or brave, I do not hold up to the drops and lights. I try, really, really try.

My prescription has only slightly changed, but the ophthalmologist suggested I treat the rosacea first. Oh, is that what that is? No, never been diagnosed with that, no. And get my thyroid checked. Made the appointment as soon as I got home. I don't want to be one of those nurses, who let early signs slide.

All my life, people have commented on the color of my face. "You are all flushed! You are so pale! You look green!"† I stopped listening to what color I supposedly was decades ago. But I do have this translucent skin, my parents both were red faced and fair. So, yeah, I knew my face went red a lot, and I still get outbreaks, but I've always picked too. Oh, so bad to pick, but so what? I didn't earn my living based on my complexion.

But when it might effect my vision, that's a different matter. I care little how I'm seen, but I really want to keep on seeing.

My eyes are tired, irritated, with a persistent tic in my lower eyelid. Much is the pollution this winter, normal aging, the cold. Time to make moisturizing a thing in my life, specifically keeping my eyes lubed up.

Otherwise, I have, with glasses, 20/15, 20/20. So, yeah, I'm ok.



*Not sure what her title was, but she did the vision test and put in the drops, then the glaucoma test as well.

†Yes, I know the joke. So why did they call black folks colored? I can honestly say I never did.