Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Lies

Ah, Pete.


No con man, psychopath, high power CEO salesman, professional liar, will ever bald faced lie as convincingly, as sincerely and innocently, as an old lady who will not admit she wears dentures. She could be my own granny, but she will lie with full confidence. And shortly after, as the anesthesiologist goes to intubate, we will find out. We always find out. And are always amazed at the assurance of the previous lie. Asked specifically, "Do you have dentures?" they will tell us, "Oh, no, I have caps though." To this day, after all these years of knowing this fact, I am still astonished. Today was no different. We found her a denture cup, and made sure they stayed with her in Recovery. No amount of explaining why we need to know, they have gone down the throat, they have gotten damaged, makes the slightest difference.

Given that they probably get them back before they are at the point where they fully remember, they probably all think afterward that they've gotten away with it.

gods.

6 comments:

the polish chick said...

there is also the problem of people having absolutely NO idea what the things in their mouths are called. i swear to god, i have had this so many times! so it's not just a lie, it can also be ignorance. or some dentist who didn't want to hurt someone's feelings and called them caps. sigh…idiocy.

on the flip side, my absolute annoyance went to patients whom i'd ask if there were any medical issues we should be aware of. no. none. as soon as the dentist came in, the patient casually mentions the triple bypass, the pacemaker and the blood thinners. SO glad that part of my life is over.

Zhoen said...

pc,
Ah, I hadn't thought of that. Although even if we ask if they come out, they deny it utterly.

On the other hand, so many dentists have told people they have an epinephrin allergy, because they feel warm and their heart races. Which is exactly what adrenaline does.

English Rider said...

Doesn't the pre-anaesthetic valium act as truth serum? Ask again then.

Zhoen said...

ER,
Sadly, no such thing as a truth serum. Dis-inhibitors, which means some people talk more, but has no effect on truthfulness. Give someone a strong drink, and they become more voluble, some people might be more honest, but most just blather.

Phil Plasma said...

I always thought politicians would win the race of dishonesty, who knew?

Zhoen said...

Phil,
Well, they do probably win for the sustained lie.