Rabble

Relaxing reason.
Rest & recuperation
A roundabout route.


I have smothered my worried, spinning, packing mind with sufficient beer. Not pretty, but in this case, beats me screaming at anyone, particularly D or Moby. Or simply exploding. I am a smidge over buzzed, a half step into drunk. Have had sufficient water to cushion the impact. Seems to be short circuiting the spinning feedback loops. I can't defend this, save that it works. I don't get in the kind of anxiety knots that I once did.

Oh, and I stepped off a curb today, and realized it didn't hurt, didn't even twinge a bit. My back is, slowly, sorting itself out. Better than a year ago, noticeably. Not quite pain free, but more stable. Still have to be aware, careful, but oh, my, I can tell it's better. Subtle, but measurable.

Awaiting the call that says our key (what key?) magically (poof!) works, starting tomorrow. When I will pack up the car with the first load.

We have our First Foot (sort of), welcoming items gathered. (Actually, I am trying to convince D to lift (hold my waist while I hop) over the threshold.) For me, a box with tea, incense, cat toys and a small hammer, D his guitar. Got House the Home a tree branch motif welcome mat. Want to love it, not be in love with House the Home. Want to see it as part of our family, to care for and do what is necessary, not take for granted, and not mind. Anthropomorphizing as usual. But it's a century old, deserves some respect and accommodation. Seems only fair to me. After reading about how going through doors is an Event, as far as the brain is concerned, and interferes with memory, and relating that to how often doors and portals show up in legends - as changes of reality, I figures doors are important. If only to human psychology. Probably spirituality.

Trusting my instincts has served me well over the decades. I've never been in serious trouble, skirting it, being close to it, but never quite in the midst. Awareness is not a guarantee, as I well know, but it does skew the odds significantly. Really does.

Do I sound, which is to say read, drunk? Difficult for me to tell now. Lots of typing errors corrected. I took a long time to get Anthropomorphizing to the point where spell check would even give it a go.


Want to sleep. Oh, gods, I want to sleep the way I used to, just a couple of months ago.