Lingering lightening,
Liminal lavender lines
Lashing languidly.
Entering into all the legalities is daunting, to both of us. We keep reminding each other we are just renting a house from the bank.
We've never been all that impressed with titles, rejected rigid roles. Called my mother the other day, mentioned that D and I have been together over 20 years. "Oh, you've been married that long!" Not what I said, but I didn't correct her. The legal marriage has been useful, no regrets, but it's not like we ever call each other "husband" nor "wife," I only use husband when referring to D, speaking to someone else who doesn't know him. If my mother's head wouldn't explode, I'd be fine calling her Mary, not mom.
Which is part of why I objected to my long estranged brother insisting on calling me sister, and himself brother, instead of just using our names. Not interested in playing a role, like me for who I am, or not at all. I'll get to know you, without the labels and boxes. Lots of little red flags kept popping up, that was one. Since the last email, when he informed me that our father was not stupid nor ignorant, and I replied with my view, citing proof, there has been silence. I'm just surprized it didn't happen earlier. Ah, well, I'll take a hard truth over a soft lie anytime.
"Faith is an island in the setting sun, but proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Went to dinner last night with two of D's brothers with spouses, and parents. Actually a very nice evening. D was leaning toward just staying home, but since one brother & wife were in from out of town, I nudged us to go. Neither of us really in the mood, but were glad we did. Took a moment to remind D that talk of sports, football in this case, beat religion and politics hands down, and no one expected us to contribute, so this is Good.
Just wish I could sleep past 5AM.
6 comments:
There's a lot to think about here. Marriage, legalities, what we call each other (and what that means) and what we talk about. I called my father "Daddy" until he died at 90. I first met him as "Daddy" and saw no reason to change. My brother made a big point of switching to calling him "Julian" when he (brother) was about 17. I think it made him feel grown-up. I don't think my father cared one way or the other.
Jerry and I got married when we were 74. I am not sure why, there was no real need to, but we both wanted it so we did.
Jerry and I never participate in conversations about sports. We occasionally discuss religion with other atheists, change the subject with believers. I talk about politics with anyone except Republicans.
Limited talk about sport I find quite soothing, not least because I feel no obligation to join in with it. I remember eavesdropping on a conversation about football (soccer) on a bus in Ireland and being delighted by the articulacy and engagement of the talkers without really understanding much of it at all.
Anne,
Oh, I'm all for calling people by whatever they want, I'm very careful with names for others. Sometimes kids just don't like their given names - so good on them for changing when they can. From the age of about 7 on I hated diminutives, particularly of my own (real) name. I've known men who call their spouse 'wife', usually in a joking manner, and that's fine for them.
Congrats on you marriage, at 74 you can damn well do what you like, no explanation necessary.
No one but Republicans can talk politics with Republicans, because they are always absolutely right in all things. Are Tories the same, I wonder?
Lucy,
Exactly. And the enthusiasm is cheerful.
litiginous lake
luridly loving lilos
lasting listlessly
nearly housewarming time!
Rosie,
We are trembling on the edge of our patience. SIL has offered her father's pick-up for the move, bless her. We shall be moved.
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