Spent most of my day in sterile processing, putting together sets of instruments, and wrapping. There is a method to sterile wrapping to allow it to be unwrapped while maintaining sterility, involving outfacing flaps and folds, indicator tapes. Attention to detail, everything with chemical indicators, to assure proper temperature has been reached during autoclaving. We kept up all day, which saved me when I switched back to my usual role, and needed one of the sets I'd wrapped, and it was there.
My tiredness wore on me after seven hours, my attentiveness flagged. Came across an unfamiliar set, and after a long time of getting nowhere on it, I begged off to the pros, apologetically, and with admiration for their skills. I think I held my own most of the way, was of use.
Thinking about when I came home from Gulf War I, and struggled, for no apparent reason. Guilty that I was being thanked for doing so little, when the real combat vets were treated so badly. Finally talked, for several hours, with a Vet Center counselor. He told me that the worst pain he'd ever had was the shrapnel that got him sent home from Vietnam. Then he added, that when he gets a paper cut, at that moment it's the worst pain ever. Pain cannot be compared.
This move felt like the worst one ever, so much to do and for so long I couldn't do any of it. But really, every move pushes one past one's endurance and strength. Past that, it's only the recovery time that changes, anything past one's 20's leaves a mark. There is no worse, past a certain point. This is a part of why we knew we needed to make this a permanent shift, we didn't have many more in us. This is a bone weariness, a soul's exhaustion. Will take us a while to recover our bounce.
5 comments:
May you recover your bounce soon!
It is the last bits that drag on, the realisation that moving the whole lot is just the start of the job.
You'll get there bit by bit.
....take a breather and assess
Dale,
We are a bit underinflated at the moment.
gz,
That's what is hitting D this week. We have a couple of important jobs, then we are going to do as little as possible on Sunday.
(o)
I remember talking with my brother, must have been just after we'd come out here, and he'd been here a year, and we were saying 'never again', and he said 'I'd rather lie down and die in one of the outbuildings than think of moving anywhere again.' In his fifties then, but now later sixties, and he would make a smaller scale move if the opportunity presented, and I know I'll presumably have to at some point. But at the time it just seems as if you're at the end of your strength and resources.
But you really don't have to do everything at once, and work too. Prioritise, and enjoy what you've done so far...
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