Aftershock

Got another aftershock, 2056. 14 April 2020. 4.2. I guessed it at about 3.5-8, but I was wrong.

Today is my broken wrist's anniversary. The first big event in a difficult year. I'd already broken my toe, burnt out at work. And Moby was dying, hanging on until summer. Then my mother. Ends up in plague and earthquake.

One year later, and I have about 98-99% of my strength and function back. I worked hard at it. Still struggling with burnout.



She looks really good, that wrist.

Moby will always be missed. Zeppo will not let us mope, keeps Eleanor cheered and busy. Life whirls on.






"Hey! I can see your house from heeeeeeeeeeere!"

Where

If one of us, usually me, is in bed, the cats appear. And watch Dylan as he comes in, and ask, "So. Where are you going to sleep?"

Jackhammers on our corner. Official trucks and cones and stuff, don't know what utility is being worked on. Not water, we're pretty sure. Very loud. Cats disconcerted. Humans annoyed.

Cold morning with a bitter wind. Just down to freezing, warmed up a bit, but there is something about mid 40˚F/7C that cuts through and leaves gashes.

Spot

Looked up it's nose, and it's lovely.


The tulips are dropped for this year.



This for scale.



Greening up and filling in.



Spot the cats in the windows.





I think photography worries him a bit.

Crux

Easter was never Happy for me. A long stretch of way too much church followed by all church all the time until Easter afternoon, with the sop of a basket with chocolate and candy. Uncomfortable, light, pastel clothes, in a season still cold and muddy, and long drives to visit family who ignored me until they would demand I answer some question out of the blue. Then I'd be berated all the way home for being "rude" or "sulking" for not paying attention.

People at work on Friday wishing everyone "Happy Easter" strikes me as contrary. I mostly replied, "Good Passover" if I replied at all.

The word “crisis” means, in medical terms, the crossroads a patient reaches, the point at which she will either take the road to recovery or to death. The word “emergency” comes from “emergence” or “emerge”, as if you were ejected from the familiar and urgently need to reorient. The word “catastrophe” comes from a root meaning a sudden overturning.

-Rebecca Solnit

England Street names.

If you ever despair of new housing developments with trite and trendy names or streets with ridiculously bucolic and inaccurate title, nothing is new.

In 1853, London had twenty-five Albert and twenty-five Victoria Streets, thirty-seven King and twenty-seven Queen Streets, twenty-two Princess, seventeen Dukes, thirty-four Yorks, and twenty-three Gloucesters—and that was without counting the similarly named Places, Roads, Squares, Courts, Alleys or Mews.”

“Do all builders name streets after their wives, or in compliment to their sons and daughters?” the Spectator magazine asked its readers wearily in 1869, a few years later. “And are there 35 builders with wives named Mary, and 13 with daughters named Mary Ann spelt so? There are 7 places, roads, and streets called Emily, 4 Emma, 7 Ellen, 10 Eliza, 58 Elizabeth—23 of them being called Elizabeth Place,—13 Jane, 53 Ann and so on and on.” Add to that “64 Charles Streets, 37 Edward Streets, 47 James Streets, besides 27 James Places, 24 Frederick Places, and 36 Henry Streets.” Other streets were named “for nearly every fruit, and for every flower we have been able to think of in five minutes.” But the “climax of imbecility” was New Street—fifty-two of them in all.

Our history is one of violence, even when at play.


It was supposed to rain last night, and there was a trace, not enough to really soak the garden. At least it didn't snow. I will cover the scarlet flax seeds tonight and tomorrow night, as the temperatures drop below freezing.

We gathered virtually, with intermittent voices all echoing, but it was grand to hear their voices and laughter. Texting is good, but it doesn't fill the need for friends all talking together.

We've been watching Capitaine Marleau. Just so good.


Looking through labels, I carp about easter every bloody year.

Wrestlemania!

Wrestle cats from Zhoen on Vimeo.

Finally got video of these two having a match. Over my head behind us. They really go for it. But no one seems upset a minute later, so I have to assume it's rough play.

The Eleanor Paw To The Forehead move is classic.

Sarcastic

He looks like he's about to make a very sarcastic remark.

The Care Navigation Hotline is cooled off, so most of us volunteers trained to answer are not getting more shifts. It's been interesting, and I dealt with the calls better than anticipated. Actually felt pretty good to listen and go off my training and experience, and recent research.

I've been called off Monday, and the redeployment of staff is still in the works. All we are told is that it will happen in stages, not everyone all at once, and some people will not be used. Fine with me, once we can do regular surgeries again, we will be swamped for the next year. Other than that, I refuse to speculate.

Everyone is showing their colors, most of the nurses I have more respect for. Our manager is amazing. No real surprizes.



Hang tight.

Paw

The rose bushes look lively, hoping for a good bloom this spring.





The clover is taking over nicely.



Cats have taken up their proper sunning area.








I woke to Eleanor's paw on my face, and the sound of woodpeckers outside. She was not taking "I have to get up" as an answer. That chin ain't gonna scritch itself. Then Zeppo appeared, wanting one of my hands and a belly rub. When he purrs, there is no hearing woodpeckers anymore. A jackhammer would be drowned out.

The graph here is not behaving the same as in other places. So far, a much smaller percentage have died, it's not spreading as fast. Perhaps because our cities are less densely populated, skews very young, much lower smoking rates, even some genetic natural immunity. The wave could simply crest later and just as badly. Our state does not have a quarantine order, but here in our largest city, we do. Our hospitals are also set up not just for the local population, but for a vast semi-rural area. Since we are doing nothing but urgent cases and COVID-19, there is a certain amount of reserve, that a place like NYC could never sustain.

And even the plague, the Black Death, could be capricious, like a tornado. Destroy everything here, completely skip there. This is the problem with prevention, you can never be sure that it's what worked.


Reading about Detroit, and it's devastating the Black community, for whom diabetes, obesity, asthma and cardiac issues are endemic. My poor hometown. Those poor people. Detroit is called the Biggest Southern City in the North, so many moved there both after the Civil War and during Jim Crow, to get jobs in factories. Black workers didn't get quite as good a deal with the Unions, but it was comparable, it was steady. They could build wealth for their families, at least for a while. The South will look very similar, say those who are tracking this and have real data at hand. It's not about skin color, but oppression and poverty.

There but for merest chance, go I. For my kin were shanty Irish and Rivard Canard French, subsistence farmers and barely schooled. I will not take my good fortune for granted, nor will I feel guilt should I survive. The living may envy the dead, never the other way round.

I cleaned the kitchen, including mopping, yesterday. We don't usually cook that much here in a week, and I'd gotten neglectful. A little painting on the front porch. Weeding as per. Hoping for rain this afternoon.

Imperial

Dylan got some photos. I loaded into iNaturalist.org, and apparently it's a Fritillaria imperialis,

the crown imperial, imperial fritillary or Kaiser's crown, is a species of flowering plant in the lily family, native to a wide stretch from Kurdistan across the plateau of Turkey, Iraq and Iran to Afghanistan, Pakistan and the Himalayan foothills.

Then I remembered that I had bought it last fall, on a whim with the red feather tulips. It's rather impressive.

Everything about work continuing to change. Called off early yesterday and today, 'redeployment' information later this week. I stay still and wait for signs.

Probably good for my brain flexibility.


The thornless blackberry is showing signs of life.

Bask

Two cats lay in sun*
Distant beams, isolated
Breathing the same dust.


*From Catalyst.

Mask

I dismantled a torn OR mask that I had from my last full day in the OR. It's called a duckbill, and I like it because it doesn't get in my mouth, leaves a little air pocket. Dylan frustrated with other masks, so I made one up for him. With the scrap of ultrasuede I had leftover from the table cover.

I cut off the wire that goes over the bridge of the nose. This is important for those of us who wear glasses, since without it there are fogging up issues.


This is in place on the new mask.



Here is is held where it once was.


Where my thumb is, the fold is stuck down for all the layers.




Pulled apart and laid splayed out, with the necessary fold.



In place. I used iron on binding tape, but sewing would work fine.



Add ties or elastic to taste. Dylan wasn't doing so well with ear elastics, and wasn't fond of the idea of tying knots behind his head. Not sure if these elastics will work, but he's giving it a go.




I don't know if this is clear enough to follow, but it might inspire. Stay well.




I was at the door, the first day we did that. Checking temps and asking screening questions, sanitizing hands. Which is why I'm not in scrubs or hat. And it was St. Patrick's Day, one of the nurses had gotten the moustaches a month earlier...

Edges

So, I was sick the week of christmas, and the symptoms were very much like the current pandemic. Dylan was very ill, and then I caught it, and it was a doozy. Was it the same one? Well, I'm choosing to consider it possible. Do I know? No. Do I believe? No. Is is a comforting narrative in the middle of the night when I think my throat is sore? Yes indeed. I've been suffering acute attacks of hypochondria. A lot of my fellow nurses are dealing with this as well, and we laugh at ourselves for being 'such medical students' about it.

And that's the flip side of Wee Hour Anxiety, it's as susceptible to one story as any other. If I have one ready to play and drown out the other worries, like a prayer or a lullaby, it fills in the gaps where demons would otherwise lurk.

Wondering, today, what actually worries people the most?

Get sick and die, leave people behind who need me.
Get sick, wind up in the hospital, get well, lose the house paying for the bill.
Make someone around me sick, especially those I most love.
Lose my job and wind up on the street.
Lose people I love.
The world will change in unpredicted ways.

I'm not worried about losing my job, but it will certainly change.

Went out to edge my neighbor's sidewalk, been wanting to do that for years. Have had enough of my own work, so I didn't. Until today. Needed to garden, and have no more jobs to do on mine. None that don't involve me planting seeds too early, or digging up when I need to leave it be. I started before asking, so when he got home walking Spike, I apologized and asked. He laughed, of COURSE it was alright.

This is the job I needed to do until I need to get up to speed on the plague for work tomorrow. Putting it off until later today, and it is now later. So, firing up the work site and immersing myself in the task ahead of me. Because doing it well is the only option.


I also made Dylan a mask, based on the OR mask I wear, called a duckbill. Leaves space to breathe. No sewing, I used iron on adhesive, with scraps of the ultrasuede (from the protective cover for the new table.) Turned out pretty well. It'll do.

Yes, I will work on showing you how I did it.

Pull

My favorite so far.

Masks

Ok, so new recommendations. Get creative and wear a mask.



They are recycling OR masks, cleaning them for reuse in surgery. Some of our folks are freaked out about this. I shrug, somewhere I have a cloth OR mask leftover from when that was the standard.

One of our PACU RN's mom sewed up a batch. I cannibalized the nose bridge wire from a torn OR mask, and sewed it to the top of this one.



This is not for when you are at home, or able to stay away from other people. This is for when you are out and that is difficult. One more layer, and reminds sneaky hands not to rub itchy faces.

Stay safe, stay well, keep busy.

Giants

I thought this one wasn't going to come up. But apparently I either didn't center my protective rocks and bricks properly, or it shot up out of a side bud. Nevermind, glad to see it. My Giant Desert Candle to the south, a bit small and pale, but pushing hard.

The one on the North is much further along. It's not a race, and they each have their own journeys. Both are welcome in their own time.




Online staff meeting again. Lots of changes. Hoping I get to stay on the phones, nothing certain. Just went through the new instruction that RNs can order CorViD19* tests for patients. So many Ifs, Ands & Ors that I will have to watch through again. Twice. They could use us elsewhere later, everything changing. Conserving masks and gowns in the OR is necessary, and I'm fine with that, but some people are struggling. There was always an element of voodoo about it, none is really properly double-blind studied, a lot is no doubt excessive. I've stepped back to let the relatively new RNs have first chance at in OR work, since they are still wobbly in their skills. I could take a year off, and step back in to surgery without significant issue.






*Yes, I know, but I'm trying to stay out of searches.

Frosty

Eleanor having a sip.



Frosty tulip.

It’s 35 F, nippy morning. Typical April.

Taking up position. Again.

Roseisaroseisarose

I am utterly besotted. Caroline Shaw, composer of the astonishing.



A week ago, we discussed Wills, as one does. We'd delayed making one because we didn't have any property. When we got House, the best information we could find was that it would simply go from one of us to the other. Then, last week, we remembered. We did have Wills, set up by the Army in the run up to GWI, which would have left everything to our parents, then oldest sibling. Oh, crap.

So, more research. My HR benefits include free online Will creation. Filled in the forms, downloaded and printed them out, then searched around for a notary and witnesses. Our Credit Union normally would do this, but their lobby was closed. We walked over to their drive through window, explained what we wanted. The manager thought for a moment, then let us in, keeping proper distances, and we got everything all signed and official. We brought our own pens, because of course we did.

Basically, once both of us are gone, Dylan's smartest brother is executor and gets the lot, then his children if he's gone. If it comes to that, one of us is gone, the one left can send him suggestions for our friends. This brother has friends all over that he keeps touch with, so he'll understand. We trust his generosity. If we both live a very long time, we can change things later. Taking care of House and Cats in case of, is important. Other than that, once we're both gone, I don't much care.

Although, I do like to think that a bunch of people will get great deals and a lot of amusement finding treasures from the estate sale, just as we have enjoyed finding cool stuff at other people's.

Yawning

Her favorite spot.

Mid yawn.

Ah, I can switch back to html to control the formatting better. This is fine.


Towels to dry, then drop in covered bin. Bias left over from under splint padding, easily wetted and also put in bin, washed with laundry. It’s easier on the flesh, sewers and cheaper.

Aesthetics

Eleanor enjoying the sun, Zeppo the bed close to Eleanor. If they traded positions, they'd both be easier to photograph, but who am I to question the aesthetic choices of cats? 

And if you have someone who's ignoring the precautions, (none of you, I know) send them this. 

Desert

With work being what it is, Dylan got a low end ifone for me.  He will not abide androids, because he has to trouble-shoot them at work and as my IT guy he gets to choose. So, photos from same.

1. 
   

Neighbor dogs bounding through, there will be damage, whether I'm watching it happen or not, so I'll take some doggo-love in exchange for broken blooms any day.

And this new, unannounced blooger thing is confusing.  Expect atypical formatting.  Numbers appearing in strange places.  I get to keep my own words, for now.

Work yesterday much more tolerable, lots of oddball questions, different flow-chart instructions and criteria for testing or whatever.  Got to sit 6' next to another RN taking calls, with other staff walking past occasionally, which helped.  Talked about dogs/cats/earthquake/China, inbetween.  Our hearts going out to the front-line staff, glad but also feeling guilty we are not among them. Most of us older, and would be out of our ability there.  We may wind up doing swabbing to obtain test samples, from parking lot tents,  no word yet. No one knows, so we speculate madly.

Today at home, and watching, smelling, the hyacinth.  I'd forgotten about the scarlet feathered tulips I got on a whim last fall, but they are popping up all over, to my delight. Mustard and legumes continue to sprout.  I will wait to drop scarlet flax in early May, we are still getting below freezing at night.

Ok, so what is this?  I remember I got a bonus bulb when I ordered Giant Desert Candle last fall. This is not where I thought I put it, but here it be. Not quite blooming. Still working on it.