Irrelevancies

I've seen it so often, when there is a traumatic event, people focus on little things. It's a useful coping mechanism, I've done it myself. Yesterday, last night, I exhibited it profoundly. My short term memory was shot to hell, not much improved today. I worried about handing off my room, getting my pouch secured in my locker, as mild shock set in.I though about PTO & workers comp, and blowing two holes in a schedule already snug for staff, and if they would do the ORIF with a surgical block since I'd had lunch at 1100.

I was clear, tried to be funny, reassuring everyone that I was not going to panic, was accepting help, did not have a brain injury.

Last night I got up so I wouldn't keep Dylan awake. He needed his sleep. I'll get mine this afternoon anyway. And I read up. OF COURSE I did. Dr.Hand* gave me both immobile and surgical option, depending on X-rays. After X-rays I could tell it was still not absolutely clear, but when I said my gut feeling from the first moment was that I would need surgery, I could tell he was leaning that way, but did not want to sway me.

The block is holding, but the fracture is not stable. Movement feels awful, even though it's still largely numb.

I confessed to Dylan that I'd taken him for granted yesterday, and would do so today. I promised I never would. He says that's fine.

My head is making lists, then misplacing them.