Aghast

 I've been sleeping 9-10 hours a night this past week. Still finding bruises and aches from the fall. Woke to cats, Eleanor on my chest, Zeppo off to my right, as is becoming usual.  Waking up at 0700 is sleeping in, after getting up before 0600 for decades. My teenage self would be aghast, I would have to explain it carefully to her. 

Thinking about that, too. That my parents denied me sleep, waking me up, when I didn't need to be up, and I clearly needed to sleep. I've taken walks with my young self this week. We worry about each other, hold hands, commiserate. She sees Aunt Evelyn in me, which is a comfort. I wouldn't want her ashamed of who I've become. She had a soft spot for older folks, so I think she'd understand. 

The job search to resume some time today, which is fine. Pacing myself, the last thing I need is the wrong job. I've already gotten responses, but all for wrong jobs involving relocating and 'fast paced' ORs. Been there, done that, worn the scrubs. Can't do that shit no more. 

I've figured out how to say, "I can't physically be an OR RN anymore."  List my skills and then report how eager I am to use my skills and knowledge base in a clinic, office or WFH situation. 

We are expecting a good bit of rain starting later this afternoon and into tomorrow. I'll be out looking for snails, haven't seen any yet this year. I can't imagine we've actually gotten rid of them, but their numbers are way, way down. I remember going out after a rainstorm and collecting them by the bucketload. Getting the Hedge under control was a big part of it. And the damn English Ivy. 

Went over to Trolley Square, a mall a block away with a bookstore. They were having some sort of bridal dress fashion show, Patriarchy on Parade, lots of young women WoooHoooing very loudly. I've become very sensitive to loud crowds, grating and horrible. Extroverts unleashed. Ugh. 

I've gotten used to the quiet.