Soothing

Lunch with friends, and good conversation, soothing to old aches.

Put in earrings for the first time in over a month. This is a good sign. I love wearing earrings. When I can't manage to wear any, I know I'm in trouble. When I start wanting them again, I know I'm doing better. It's a weird thing, and for most people not a semi-conscious act, for me though, it's a habit of decades and a barometer of my ability to cope.



For a while this morning, I had both cats on my chest, purring, needing to be petted. Eleanor much more tolerant, even affectionate, with Zeppo. Zeppo never stays anywhere long, so Eleanor let him sit on me, with her, for the short time it took him to cross my body, get a head scritch and move on. I just kept breathing, a not inconsiderable effort. One day there will be cat-to-cat cuddling, but not quite yet. No rush, no hurry.

Switching days to accommodate the schedule is fine, I don't care which days I work, as long as I have fewer, and a bit of choice. Another RN did the same this past month, dropped his hours to 30. We've all been feeling the push, and we've all been pushed beyond tolerances. The older of us need rebounding time. I've put off getting an additional or different job, since that would be stressful in a whole new way. Let this settle in, let my heart heal, then search. There is no hurry.

Slowing down, letting my heart open, cultivating softness.

The compost pile is thick with snow. The garden has no plans. Got new rain barrels. There is still inheritance money.

Oh, and I found out, the Worker's Comp money is not taxable. Neither was the inheritance, would take a lot more than that to trigger taxes. We have a nice refund coming, that will likely go into an IRA. All of which makes me feel less guilty about working fewer hours.