Names

I am terrible with names. And always apologetic.

Because my own name is often embellished or diminunutized. Zhoen-ann. Zhoenie. But I am a plain (Zh)OAN. The charwoman name, that's me. The charred saint. JustJoan from Jewel of the Nile. I answer to hey-you, or oh-nurse, without demur. As long as not called the wrong variation of the given dubbing. Worked with a Jacqueline that used Jack, of a similar shape and color, we wound up answering to each other's names, I would likely still answer to a shout of "Jack!"

Never acquired any nicknames, aside from a jr. hs friend who called me "froggie" for my frog-eye glasses. Only JustJoan ever stuck, although one anesthesiologist called me Jonesy, which I rather liked.

Every year with the new residents, I struggle with the names, and apologize. Told one young man that I could't tell one twenty-something white guy from another, and he did not take it well. But I seriously can't tell one twentyish white guy from another, in identical scrubs, masks and hats. The women are not much better, unless they are of a somewhat different ethnicity or name. They come in and flow out, like the tide, and they don't stay in my mind unless particularly good or bad.

I remember two very bad Dimitris. No, wait, it was three. Not a good name.

After a particularly difficult foot fellow, a very nice one came in saying he was the "New (old foot fellow's name)" I said, impossible. You have to be better than him. He was, a very nice young man, and no doubt now, a very good foot and ankle surgeon.

Please, btw, don't go to a podiatrist for anything but diabetic foot care, go to a foot and ankle surgeon for anything more complex, or for actual surgery. Seriously. Our foot and ankle surgeons do a booming trade in fixing podiatrist surgical botches.


Had a college financial aid clerk tell me once that Joan wasn't a name, it's actually spelled Jone.