Hegira

The corner of Chapel and Chapel, in Brookline, MA. Not a joke, or at least, not only a joke.

Once, when we lived in Boston, a friend was in town. He called, trying to get driving directions, since being lost in Massachusetts - where two wrongs don't make a right, and neither do two lefts - is endemic, mandatory even. Problem was, he was not sure where he was, and did not stop to properly locate himself. A long series of exasperating calls where he kept reading out street sign names, which wasn't going to help, because there are duplicated street names, and some intersect themselves (see above.) Other problem was that we never drove there. Turned out he was in Cambridge, across the Charles River entirely, at least so we suspect. We still have no idea how he got to the large hotel where he was staying, although once there, we met him, insisted he leave the car in their parking, and took him out via the T and our own good feet - in which by then we had a reliable muscle memory map.

Learning some (possible) truths about my biological sire and further paternal family of origin feels like I was building a theory based on bad data points. All the Here Be Dragons gaps, on my map of their lives, all the deceptions and evasions, even downright lies, means I may well have been on the other side of the world. I had enough to make some pretty shrewd guesses, but not enough to cope properly. As with my elementary Spanish, I could muddle along with Portuguese speaking patients, until they started answering with more than very simple, single words. Not so much wrong, as wholly inadequate.

Not that I would have thought more of my father. He lied reflexively, about trivial matters, no wonder he was so adrift, with no stars to steer by. But I maybe could have responded in a way that would have made more sense to him. Gods know he was never going to figure me out. He couldn't even remember my name most of the time. Well, ultimately not my job, never was.

	Elvis Costello - Lost in the Stars
	Found at Lost in the Stars on KOhit.net

Found my center, built my own moral compass, oriented myself in the universe. A few good folks as my examples, which is all it takes. I strive for truth and clarity constantly. How do I know? By the results, calm joy around me, stability, kindness. When the chaos and anger are washed away, I figure I'm doing it right. This is the tao.

I am here.