Ligaments

Stiff neck, as we all get once in a while. I remembered once seeing a group of some kind of monk or military men, in India possibly, flinging their long black hair (dreadlocks?) around. It was beautiful and wild, and strange. My own hair was fairly long at that point, and so, of course, I tried to do the same. The next day I realized I'd given myself whiplash.

I tried to join track in high school, had to use the heavier shot, not having the proper weight being the girl's team. Did pretty well with it, but my shoulder was never the same. I believe I did a partial dislocation.

Every time I have tried to do anything athletic, I wind up in a lot of pain. I tear and stretch easily, maybe I'm too sensitive to these minor injuries, maybe I just listen to them. I've never out-and-out fractured a bone. Small evulsion fracture of my big toe, and cracked a knuckle once, nothing much. But my softer tissues injure easily, or at least scream about pain readily.

This is, I think, why my back is still an issue. The herniation is resolved, but the tendons and ligaments are still hurt, the scar tissue lights up the surrounding nerves. 'Why' matters less than, 'what can I do about it?' And some of that is down to how I'm wired up. None of this is new, it's just a variation on a lifelong pattern.

I've tried to stay strong, and I am in some ways. In others - I have no resilience at all. Part granite, part tufa.