Nothing else to do over this weekend, for the first time in two months. Slept hard last night, a bit sore and stiff this morning. Eleanor woke me up, and has now claimed the bed.
I needed a list of references, and found, as I so often have, that I have more friends than I thought. I need to write them all with more than a brief" Thank You!" - which was all I've been up for in the midst of all the forms. When I've got my first paycheck, I'm off to buy nice cards and thoughtful small gifts for every one of them. So much support from so many people is humbling and touching. This process has been... hard. Just hard. Walking on rocks in bare feet.
My foray to the VA campus was a bit of flashback to my time on army bases. Something about it that is familiar. The phrase ran, "There's a right way. A wrong way. And an Army way." It was the first really effective experience toward dealing with my childhood - in ways difficult to clearly explain. Being shouted at by someone insane and out of control is different from being shouted at by someone in complete control of themself. I've wondered if abused and neglected children who wind up serving are prone to worse PTSD, it's an area I think should be properly studied. The mild to moderate cases, the walking wounded in heart.
I look forward to working more slowly, thoroughly, kindly. Taking time to talk with people. Fostering curiosity and gratitude.
3 comments:
Good to sleep well.
Abused and neglected children probably start with PTSD... anything else is sure to add to that.
A relief to be able to give thanks xx
You will excel!
What a good spot to be in - plotting thank you efforts.
I'm going to try to find some small objects to bring with me when I move back to campus. I'm excited to see coworkers I have only seen online during plague time. I want to give everybody a little token when I see them.
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