Weep

Work has been long and trying. I've mostly managed not to cry in front of people. And I have tried to hide how much Derecho still hurts and fails. I'm at about 95%, and the failures are unpredictable. The work still needs doing, and I'm not the only one in pain and grief. Hand is a hand, but not a full fledged RIGHT hand. Adept, but not fully functional, and still painful at odd moments. I try to let people know, get the help I need, but without milking it. Yesterday was the first time in over 13 weeks that I could mop at work without pain. Long days, though, no summer slack as usually happens, but not always and not this year. Everyone is tired, we all struggle. One scrub is still out after shoulder surgery, and not sure when she'll be back.

One of my fellow nurses saved my ass on Thursday.



I'd not been with that particular surgeon for about two years, not as a whole day. The odd lunch or shift over case, enough to know that a lot had changed in how he worked. Fellow RN stepped in, made the whole awful day doable, relieving me for breaks and lunch at critical moments, left me my dignity. I was able to return the respect and care yesterday, as he worked with a surgeon he didn't know well. And I made sure he knew how much I appreciated his oh-so-professional care and respect.

With the two July holidays* on midweek days, we don't even get those in a nice weekend enveloped lump. I looked at my PTO (vacation hours) and requested a day a month off. A personal holiday. I may well get all but Monday off of Thanksgiving week, if my Tuesday request is approved.

Cleaned out the freezer today, and the mud room, and tidied the living room. Put away all Moby's piss rugs, one of those adaptations done with a full heart, but dropped without regret. I would take a healthy Moby back in a moment, even if I had to change throw rugs for him to piss on without hesitation. Since I can't have him, I don't mind not having to wash ammonia scented rugs twice a week. And that was not just an issue of his age and illness, he always loved a nice rug on the floor to pee on.

Zeppo is just as messy getting litter everywhere. Cats. Who can figger 'em?

He's slinking around at high speed this afternoon, Eleanor intrigued.





*4th of July on a Thursday. 24th - Pioneer Day, on Wednesday (my usual day off).