Flash

Taking a break from all the sitting and trying to focus on the screens, six of us stood in the hall between the classroom and the restroom, standing and chatting idly. A woman walked through, dark hair, very familiar, but too out of context. I smiled and nodded, certainly I knew her from somewhere, but that was all.

We are still idling as she comes back past, looks harder at me, calls me by name, and hugs me. Then I knew who she was, I hug back (because I would)and her name bobbed up a moment later. It's been 20 years, old roommate, long out of touch.

I had nothing to write on, she got my phone number on her phone with some difficulty. She apparently works nights. Then I had to go back to the class.

Just that.

I'd forgotten why we'd drifted so much. In the middle of the night, it all washed over me. D and I had gone on a trip with her and another couple of friends. And as such things often do, this did not work out well. Not explosively badly, it didn't end the relationship. More of a turning point, where no one made more than nominal effort to get together after. She married, had a baby. I went under nursing school, got full time work, we lost track of each other. I never knew her married name, although I knew the guy, wasn't on last name basis with him.

All feels vaguely dreamlike, since she may well not call at all. She tended to procrastination at the best of times. Kind hearted, intelligent, charming, funny, but not to be relied upon if it was important to be somewhere at a specific time. For me, being always early for everything, this never sat well.

We were in the same concentrated organic/bio chem classes that summer. Then more science pre-reqs. She stepped up to offer help when I got activated, unexpectedly. I liked her, but we were mostly study-buddies, rather than close friends. She took over my tiny, cheap, apartment while I was off to Gulf War I. She'd been living with her grandmother, and liked having a place to herself. I paid rent, she covered utilities, and I had a place when I got back, six months later. At a time when finding an apartment could be very iffy. She then slept on the sofa for a few months until she could find an apartment with the friend who was also on the trip. I was, and am, very grateful for all the support in one of the most unsettled stretches of my life.

Don't know what's been going on with her, nor could I quickly summarize my own journey in that time. So much has changed. Her child must be college age by now, for one.

It may not matter, ultimately. A flash, a memory, then nothing more.

Rather disquieting.