Scrunch

Moby found this corner, of sorts, and scrunched himself in there. Never seen him do that before, but I guess he likes exploring his options.


Dale reminds me, as he so often does, of an aspect of my work and training that I use, but don't think to mention usually. Added to this week's patients. Not the easy, generally healthy group, more like a gaggle of odd ducks. It's not hard to spot them. Even in a hospital gown, they look disheveled, with unwashed and/or uncombed hair, long left untrimmed, or badly cut. Or when their hands or feet need to be washed, and that's where the surgery is being done. Odd, to have to take a scrub brush to a dirty foot, when the individual knew they were having an operation on that bit. I've had to do that twice this week, one hand, one foot. Got to get it clean to get it closer to sterile.

This does not include those who have a fracture that has been splinted for a while, who cannot be blamed for not wanting to get the splint wet, or jostle a painful break. Or kids, who resist being clean, nor their parent who chooses not to insist when the little monkey is injured. Likewise those who have dirty jobs, mechanics and ranchers mostly, here. Their hands are tattooed with engine oil and soil, a permanent feature. I've had those guys apologize, and I reassure them - I know it's not dirt as such.

No, the nutty ones are different. There is a smell about them, sometimes literally. They don't think to keep themselves covered as much as reasonably possible, as most others do. The one today sat, with her gown bunched up around her thighs, crosslegged on the gurney in Pre-op, blanket tossed aside. When even the most overheated would normally keep the blanket over their lap at least. They talk too much, make too little eye contact, make off-color and off-subject jokes, move erratically. They may have an odd request, without a reasonable story. A grown woman with a teddy bear, who promised her daughter to keep it with her to look after her, is unusual, but normal. A grown woman with a teddy bear who doesn't explain, and with no known mental delays - evidence of oddity. They ask many, many more questions than anyone else - even medical folks (who tend to ask a lot.) And they are often irrelevant questions, uncommon ones, more to delay than an actual bid for information. Or, they ask nothing at all, don't answer, grunt or get angry.

And I in no way include patients with known problems, brain injuries or developmental anomalies. No, the Odd Ducks are more likely to have drug issues, though. Heavy smokers, meth teeth, extensive messy tattoos, equally odd SOs, and it's never just one thing, but an array. They take longer to get ready, emerge from anesthesia unpredictably, and often have brightly colored, but grungy underwear.

They are sometimes funny, often likable, good for stories - later, with those who were there. We don't judge, but we do diagnose. It's kind of a hobby, a side effect. Like every job dealing with people, we remember the weird ones.