The air cleared, the heat cooled, rain came in the night while I slept. An August respite, which I much appreciate.
Less so the loud party-ers in the hall at 0300, galloping and shouting - drunken hilarity and spilled drinks. Hall noises come right in, and there are at least two families with young children in this part of the building who must've been disturbed as well. Self-centered, useless people. Utter lack of empathy.
D never managed to get back to sleep, and it took me quite a long time. When I got up, I found myself in Tired But Must Do mode, which serves me well for Moving, and at work - when the last patient of the day needs just as clean and organized a room, and just as much energy from me as the first of the day did.
So I made waffles. After which D crawled to bed, and got to sleep for a few hours, and I got in laundry, ironed shirts, (they are cooler that way, the processing areas of the Library are not kept cool enough) got dishes washed, walked over to get more starch. Later, both awake, we got lunch, de-dusted the car, including a zip tie repair on the plastic bit beneath the bumper that always catches on the curb/stop thing in parking lots. Pulled out the sofa to vacuum behind (did I mention we had a dust storm?) and cleaned the windows, did more laundry, and a few other small tasks. D got me to stop after I got back from the grocery store with... oh, who cares? I finally gave in to the lack of sleep, despite this urgent impulse to do one more thing.
I don't know quite where this impulse came from, other than the whiff of September. Or my body kicking in to having a bit of actual, rarely seen, overtime, for the first time in many, many months.
But on the way (to get tomatoes and cheese) three men came toward me on the sidewalk. Average guys, late twenties, early thirties, middle America types, and one stares at me, finally catches my eye, smiles, says "Hi there!" and puts up his hand for a high five. I have given him minimal eye contact, from the beginning an expression of "leave me alone" yet he seems to expect me to touch his upraised hand. As soon as I am past, I quietly say "Who thehellare you?"
A full grown man, especially in the company of two other men, who accosts a middle aged woman, alone, on the street, with no kind of a hint of invitation, is a complete asshat moron. I'm sure if asked he would defend himself by saying "I was ONLY being Friendly!" When his actions were actually intrusive and threatening. Unsettling, always, when men on the street feel they have a right to my attention, to a response from me just because they want one, unearned, unbidden. Like being in Riyadh, and all the little touches on my hips, in crowds. Crowds not thick enough to justify real accidental bumps. Much more dense packing on Boston train stations and such brushes happened very rarely. They did it because they could, because I had no recourse, to put me in my place.
Partly Cloudy
60°F
(16°C)
Humidity: 51 %
Wind Speed: N 5 MPH
Barometer: 30.17 in (1018.30 mb)
Dewpoint: 42°F (6°C)
Wind Chill: 60°F (16°C)
Visibility: 10.00 Miles
2 comments:
You used to read Pinko Feminist Hellcat, didn't you? She had a great post about how men tend to expect women they don't know to be friendly to them, but then judge a woman harshly if trusting a strange man gets her in trouble.
Pacian,
I sure did. I remember that post. Women are also expected to smile, all the time, or they are not feminine. But a woman who is friendly, is asking for it.
Most men get it, most men are much more polite and kind. Vast majority.
I found this on the Carolyn Hax discussion at the Washington post a while back. I wanted to post it, but didn't want to get in trouble, and couldn't get permission.
But if I just quote it in comments... should be ok.
Eastern US: Re: the rudeness of "attractive" women - I encounter this guy probably 20 times a week. And I'm not even all that attractive any more. Hints for you guys out there who think attractive women are being rude to you "because we can":
- Just because you feel like talking doesn't mean we do
- You're not entitled to a response from an attractive woman any more than you are from any other stranger
- We can tell when you're looking at us "that way"
- If we're doing something else, like reading or listening to our iPods, please don't interrupt
- It is creepy to stare on the bus/subway or any stop/platform
- Please respect personal space and don't get too close. If I can smell your breath, you're definitely too close
- Please don't talk to our boobs
- Don't tell us we're pretty. It's not as big a compliment as you think
Thank you for letting me air this grievance.
Carolyn Hax: I'm here to serve.
New York, NY: I must take this opportunity to air my BIGGEST pet peeve with "friendly" guys that I encounter. Please do not ask me "Why aren't you smiling?" I hate this - I never hear anyone ask a guy this, as if women aren't allowed to have a bad day, be lost in thought, etc. without having to justify it to random strangers.
Argh.
Carolyn Hax: Agh! You're right! People who use it should also know they're daring people to say some really horrible things in response, along the lines of, "Because you're still here." Yes they're just trying to be friendly but it needs to be out there that it is an instant blood-boiler. Very invasive. I hope I have the oh-just-shrug-it-off bona fides to say that. Thanks.
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