Went to my tai chi class. It's been twenty years since the last time, and my body remembers, though all the details have been long lost to time. My back eased and enjoyed the movements.
Twenty years ago. A lifetime ago, when living a different life. I didn't feel young, then. I could not see a way out of my own bad decisions and misjudgments. I don't know how much tai chi helped me escape under the fence and out, but those lessons played a part. Time to learn a new set, heal myself sustainably. As I am sure many of you will think, I am still young. Ish, at least.
I didn't expect to feel old yet. Growing up with elderly neighbors and family, then working with a geriatric population, I always saw old as starting in the seventh decade. And even that is readily adjustable according to health and habits. Smoking causes much faster aging, as does illness and injury, obesity and alcohol use. A meth addict is ancient at twenty five.
So, I must find my flexibility and wisdom, regain my health and strength. Begin anew.
4 comments:
I can easily picture you practicing Tai Chi. Especially after seeing your recent black and white self-portrait on the post
titled "Distractions."
Although I've practiced yoga (mostly Iygengar) since I was 20, I thought Tai Chi was beyond my capabilities. Until this spring.
Practicing Tai Chi is doing for me what you described. Although I still feel anxious at times, I don't feel that everything is closing in on me anymore. Thank you for clarifying my experience with your experience.
I have considered taking Tai Chi classes so that I could move with the grace and agility I have watched those much older than I accomplish.
Time to get off my butt and do something about it. Thank you for the inspiration, Zhoen.
:)
it's only been a few months for me, but I miss how calm and fit it makes me feel....So why don't I get off my butt and just do it? Sigh....motivation....even when we know the best thing to do, it's not so easy to do it.
I did it for a while, also at a time of my life when I was uncertain and unhappy, and I did enjoy it, but the teacher was a very accomplished but rather spaced-out hippy, and I grew discouraged, probably, on reflection, because he was taking it too fast through quite complex forms and I couldn't learn and remember the choreography of it fast enough.
We did it a bit to a video, which was OK , but classes are better for anything like that for keeping up the momentum, at least for me.
Growing old - difficult to find a balance between surrendering gracefully, (and often with relief!) the things of youth, and willfully limitng oneself and getting stiff.
Having an older spouse and quite a few older friends, on the one hand it's nice to be always considered the kid, on the other, there's a danger of becoming too attuned to their way of being at their time of life. Mind you, most of them refuse to act their age anyway!
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