Circles

We heard back for certain on the apartment. Not that we were really afraid, but after so long worrying, we worried. We are worriers. Which, I believe, is largely why we are not afflicted by a lot of self inflicted chaos in our lives. We have an enviable credit rating, despite never having more than living wages, and early on, not even that. We are not people to simply let bad and uncomfortable stuff slide, we err on the safe side. Not exciting, but we prefer that to social and financial surprizes. As I love boring at work, means nothing is going wrong. I'll take my thrills elsewhere, thank you very much.

I misread my schedule, but my manager didn't check either when she wanted me in to clarify the notorious Timeout with the pedantic inspectors, and went in this morning. A rare change, I work Saturday, not today. But since I'd shown up, and wound up much needed, I will instead have tomorrow off, and got to leave today by 2PM. Worked out that I did NOT have to chat with the Officials. Breaks my heart, hurt my feelings, I actually shed a tear.

Well, no.

This morning, I'd gone to sit in the lounge for a few minutes before running around helping out. Since the Timeout, and being called in to explain same yesterday - then let off the hook until today, then off the hook completely, there has been an irregular squeaking of the hamster wheel spinning in my head. Not obvious ruffling, but deep down riling. My stomach hurt, my head ached, the thoughts ran and ran. So, anyway, I sat there, and the charge calls on the intercom for me to "help out in 12." Sure, I go immediately, should have been walking around helping, properly.

"What can I do for you?"

"We need a circulator."

Yeah, if they don't have one, by 0730, when the case is supposed to start, they need an RN in the room. Everything needs to be set up, and I pull it more or less together in nine minutes flat, with the surgeon being helpful and patient. Make the bed, get stirrups, clamps for stirrups, open the program, interview patient, get scope monitors in the room. Nothing much. Sheesh. By the second case, we are running smoothly, and we get on schedule. I've been doing this a long time, serves me well in the crunch. Even with a nursing student present. Well, she proved helpful, bright young woman.

The thought of not getting the apartment haunted me. Having to look for another place, after finding the perfect one for us, just seemed too much to bear. Knowing we are in, ahhhh... We will give notice tomorrow to our current landlord. I dream of a deep, hot bath. And being able to do laundry without leaving our door. Lists are being listed.

Moby is more affectionate than usual, lately. A great comfort. Ever since D's hand got strong enough after surgery to hold him again after a month unable to, Moby seems to appreciate being held more. He holds on to the shoulder of the sweater with gentle claws, purrs, and touches his nose to our cheeks, eyes, nose.

Funny how love continues to grow and deepen, over years, through experience and trial. As trust develops, as we all know each other more.






Really got the dry skin, acne, and dark circles going this week. So be it.