Saturday, May 01, 2021

Scattering

Cleaned the front porch of first layer of accumulated winter debris and dust. It's a good place to sit when it's 78˚F with a bit of cloud and a light breeze. 

Allowing my zippingponging mind to settle is difficult, especially since it require not-doing. 

I did reach out to friend-co-workers yesterday, which helped. I don't want to pester them, but it seems they welcome the contact as well. And I want to know the fallout. One high school teacher told us to find out what we liked to do, and figure out a way to get paid to do it. I am nosey, not a tale-carrier, but I love to hear all the awful details. I really did find my niche.  It soothes my injured self worth. 

I know I'm a fairly difficult person, not that I try to be. So I try to make up for it by working hard, living honestly, helping wherever I can - and as quietly as possible. I just try, all the time, not to be liked for it - but to be given a bit of benefit of the doubt. A little credit for doing my research, working out a good solution, making life a bit easier. 

We are having a couple of friends over this evening, for the first time in a year. More than a year. It feels weird and good. 


5 comments:

Jan said...

I have only just found your blog again (via Relatively Retiring) and it's a delight to hear your voice again. Sorry things are hard right now. I'm certain you have a lot of transferrable skills and there will be something you enjoy more. I changed career at 59 and have been surprised to find a number of things that suit me better.

Meanwhile, be gentle on yourself, and enjoy the cats. I wish you every happiness. Jxx

Zhoen said...

Jan,
Good to hear from you again. And you said exactly the right thing, too!

gz said...

It isn't easy to change gear and run at a different pace xx

Zhoen said...

gz,
No it is not. But it was lovely having people actually here in person, and it was safe.

Nimble said...

I'm nosy too, I love to hear how things shake out. I recently sent a catch-up email to a former co worker friend who left us last fall.