N-95

"There are so many unsung heroines and heroes at this broken moment in our collective story, so many courageous persons who, unbeknownst to themselves, are holding together the world by their resolute love or contagious joy. Although I do not know your names, I can feel you out there."
 - David Abram
commonplace

 Yesterday I got to share a small portion of what the ICU folks have been dealing with the past year. It's gotten so bad here, that in the OR we have to treat our patients as though they all have covid, even though all test negative before surgery. At intubation and extubation, if I'm helping the anesthesiologist, I have to be in an N-95 mask. Yesterday, since I only had an attending, no resident or CRNA, that was my job.  Since they are not simple to put on properly, I wore it all day, with a regular surgical mask over. All my fellow nurses in rooms did the same. 

It's not as bad as a gas mask*, but it does take longer to put on properly.  Which is why I left it on all day, as well as to be prepared in an emergency. The elastics left me with a nice headache at the end. Faces are just not build to have material tight against the skin for many hours, it's not unlike having a wedgie. But I can manage it pretty well. I've always passed my fit tests easily.  In Boston, I think I had them every three months, because of the prevalence of TB. 

We cancel at least one case a day for covid, sometimes more. This is out of about 15-25 cases scheduled.  And our director of anesthesia is still being his usual cavalier self about it, barely following the rules. 

I'm very careful, but I've developed a sort of fatalism.  So relieved I didn't get ICU work, the OR is much safer in terms of general infections. 

Zeppo is consistently seeking out our affection these days. I put my hand down at night, and there he is between us, and very soundly asleep. He comes up to me while I eat breakfast, to be petted a bit. A nose, a tail, nose again, tail. He sits with us in the evening, on the arm of the sofa, accepting a hand. 

*Which I found I could sleep in, as long as I didn't snore.