Flinch

Swamped in a hard year
So behind and underneath
I dig up to light.

Both cats agree that the only place to sleep at night is on the bed with the people. Saw Eleanor give Zeppo one lick on his ear, as they nuzzled heads. They take turns with us, Eleanor confident that she is loved, lets Zeppo get his turn.

This morning, still in bed. After Eleanor got well ruffled sitting on my chest, she sneezed and jumped off. Zeppo beside me let me massage him, both hands, I put my head to his back, he purred and relaxed, one leg in a nonchalant attitude. When I sit here, he makes pass after pass for back strokes and tail catches. I nearly pull his tail, and he returns over and over. He reaches up to pat me if I miss a turn. He'll rub his face into my hand.

If I move my hand toward his head in a way he isn't expecting, he flinches. And it breaks my heart. I apologize, and let him approach in his own way, in his own time. He's doing so well, we have to remind ourselves how slow this process can be. How far he had to come, and how young he is still.


Dylan fixed our doorbell/intelligence test yesterday. I polished and restrung it today. The old spot needs a little paint, maybe later today. Maybe when I apply the greenish wash to the orange painted brick later this year.




Had a scrub tech of less than a year yell at me yesterday on a matter of sterility, in front of surgeon and resident, and she was not correct. This was after I twice had to direct her away from patient care parts of my job that are not in her job description and that needs to be done by a licensed person, or working under the direction of a licensed person. Since I don't trust her to follow directions, I will not let her do this under my license. So she decided to shame me in front of the surgeon, which fell flat. I hate having to talk to my manager about this sort of thing, but manager invites it, and uses the information appropriately, so I do.

Massage this morning, which both helps, and identifies the actual sources of pain. I have exercises planned. I also smell really nice.



A photo list of black cats.