I've been thinking about forgiveness. And it's not reversible, which is to say it's a very different thing depending on which side of it you are. I can forgive the whole world all its sins, to ease my own soul. But that doesn't mean it has any right to ask for it. And like placing a dish of food out for a cat, doesn't mean it's accepted.
If I hurt someone, and I want to be forgiven, then I have to earn it. I have to acknowledge my sin, take responsibility, apologize, try to make it right, and only then can I hope for forgiveness. Even asking for it would be presumptuous.
When my father disowned me, and I grabbed that unexpected gift with both fists, refusing to return it, even knowing he gave it to me as a form of manipulation, I also forgave him. Well, never mentioned it to him, and it was conditional upon him never hurting me again. I could make that happen, since I wasn't going to allow any more contact. It would become permanent when he died, in that I would not wish him in hell - even if it exists. He'd created his own hell around himself all his life, what would more accomplish? If his soul now knows I hold no grudge against him, that is fine with me. Likewise if there is no him to know.
My forgiveness, unasked for, is an act of pity. Earned and requested, a matter of grace.
The best way to understand difficult ideas is to turn them and turn them and turn them. Until insight glimmers.
It snowed madly yesterday, but the roads are clear, no shoveling was required. Although I did have to clear the gutter of mud and old leaves to keep a huge puddle from forming at the end of the driveway. The skiers are happy with their spring freshies, and my garden happy with the soaking. I put in cold weather cover crops, peas and beans, last week. Soil building stuff, if it comes up wonderful. If not, no harm.
Corned beef from a package in stewing now, smells amazing. Dylan called in to work, last minute schedule change. I've put the electro-stim on my foot, and it seems to be helping. Some of the pain is from a deep, hard spasm, so I figured I'd try this. So far, so good.
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I've been thinking about that, too. Now here is something that might throw you for a loop ... of late, a good friend and I have been watching the show, "The 100." (I know, I know) However, (and we neither of us are TV show watchers as a rule), the richness of the tale and the characters (writing, acting and camera-work is excellent) have led to many deep conversations over pints of quality ale this past year. A few weeks ago, we both realized that the show is about forgiveness, first and foremost. As you write, "The best way to understand difficult ideas is to turn them and turn them and turn them. Until insight glimmers." And we've found that there are times the difficult idea turns in the most unlikely of places ...
I understand about hard spasms and am wishing you rapid, complete release.
(Ah...the comforting aroma of corned beef simmering on the stove. My mom used to make what she called a New England boiled dinner by adding chunks of carrots, potatoes and cabbage to the broth. Makes me hungry just to think about it!)
Rou,
I'll have to check it out. I am no kind of snob for TV, I'll give anything a try. I used to watch COPS! way too much.
Crow,
Hi. It's going to take a while. I've got an appointment with my old PT for my shoulder, who does dry needling. Which is acupuncture with electrostim. That's in April, but I can manage until then.
It smells amazing. I made mashed potatoes to go with. Trader Joe's has a package of corned beef. We did this last year, and oh such a meal.
Drat! Now you've got me hungry for corned beef and cabbage! Lessee, when is St. Patrick's Day this year? :^D
You have eight days, get cooking.
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