This is not what I ever planned to be. I considered being a nurse, along with nun, actress and pilot*, because they seemed attainable for a girl growing up back when. I didn’t really know what any of those jobs entailed, but they weren’t flipping burgers, typing in an office or working in a factory. Those seemed the worst of jobs to me. I had no idea how I was going to make a living, except I knew I did not want marriage and housewifery.
Theater would prove impossible. I figured my difficulty with math meant sciences were out. I simply took on multiple jobs, able to learn as I went, to a sufficiency. One of which was the National Guard enlistment. Just one more part time gig that might lead to full time. A library degree paid for by that was the initial plan. It happened to be a medical unit, which suggested a different direction. A nursing degree could become a real job, I’d be a officer. And not come back to the bad marriage.
I got out of that entanglement anyway, and after being sent off to Gulf War I, did not want any more army than I was already committed to. By the time I finished nursing school, I knew I was terrible on night shift, although I had several stretches of it to go. A friend helped me get a foot in the door for surgery, and I fit. I knew from the first day, I would get this. And my first time making a living wage.
This is not the sort of path that can be planned. I could not have imagined this work being what I would find satisfying, what I would be capable doing. I kept trying until I found the way through. Over twenty years, and I learn every day, I’m challenged to stay sharp and attentive. My Bad Nurse Week reminds me of my struggle, my sense of accomplishment, and desire to stay good for my patients.
I remember hearing about single nurses buying houses, and I thought, it pays enough to buy a HOUSE? I’m in! Seemed incredible then.
Still does.
*Amelia Earhart. My Uncle Walt flew small planes, and built one.
8 comments:
i knew a lot of nurse in what i think was before your time: 66-69. What I looked for was someone who could deal with the absurd situations we were placed in, and cope. Still hand me a scalpel, kelly, etc, and function in the chaos that was a sandbagged dugout in Danang during Tet of 68. I think you would have done well there, though it would have scarred you. It did everyone.
Have you read Healer’s War, Elizabeth Anne Scarborough? That, and China Beach (tv show) marked my view of my job.
No, I haven't. You think I should? (serious question). I watched a few episodes of China Beach, just because it was right there where I was, and I spent a lot of hours on a deserted beach, sunbathing with a M16 on the towel next to me. Now, I see pictures, and a friend of mine has been there. It's effing resort city, spa facilities, 15 story hotels etc. Right on the beach. Right above where I anticipated getting fire from.
I passed up an opportunity in 90 or so, to go to Hue to help set up and train a cardiology clinic. I couldn't bring myself to go there....I was part of the retaking of Hue in late 68, and was less a medic than a gunner on a huey. I couldn't go back.
Anyway, hope you're doing well. I'm scheduled for another cath early next month, with either more stents or possibly CABG. Unsure if I'll go for the cabg if they recommend it. I've just seen too many, and how the patients feel, with a sternum that never really heals.
take care, Mike
Should,
Not my specialty. Wish I could offer a suggestion. Break a foot, and I have resources...
As far as the recommendations, for someone who was there... I’m not sure. Maybe? Worth a try. Healer’s War, probably. China Beach... it’s been a long time, maybe? Yes?
May you find heart’s ease, friend.
It would have scarred anyone. I’d’ve done well at some phases of my life, less at others. No way to tell for sure, but I get calm when others panic. I fall apart later. Didn’t start until 1997, so, yeah. My oldest brother was in Thailand fixing jets during that war. He is 11//2 years older. I joined when I was 26. The years stretch out.
I, too, wanted to be a pilot (Sky King was an early hero); also a veterinarian, a doctor, an artist, a writer, a chef, a rock-and-roll singer and a cartoonist...not all at once, mind.
I ended up a corpsman, a postmaster, a pharmacy tech and now the office manager for the local historical society. Had a wide variety of retail and service jobs in between, including lab tech, ECG tech, animal tech (ASPCA). I was proudest of my military service, grateful for what it did for my self-esteem and confidence.
Not crazy about the PTSD, though. They could have kept that part.
Crow,
We could just skip all the ptsd.
Never know where you’ll end up, eh?
I dated a girl in nursing school when I spent a few years in college. I've had a soft spot for nurses ever since. SWMBO's first husband's second wife spent a career as a nurse, much of it assisting in heart surgery. That makes my skin crawl.
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