Scrounge

My father was a scrounger. He would walk the alley, scouring it for useful items.

I am the same. It is the one part of him I respected then and now. I found a scarf in the mud last month, that I brought home and washed, that is on my lap now. I save drapes that I used as dropcloths for the painting of the past week. I salvage and reuse and find new uses. A reflex.

Not a hoarder, I get rid of unused stuff all the time. Things pass through easily, I let go as easily as I pick up.

At PT today, they used a "dry needle" technique, like acupuncture and electrostim together. Worked very well. Also put me in mind of the EMDR stim therapy for PTSD. Found myself sobbing, which I assured the therapist was not to be taken too seriously. She assures me she's used to making people cry. I keep making connections.

It's not so much pain, I can deal with pain. It's the issue of causing damage that the pain may warn about. That warning pain is what worries me.

I pick up things. It's what I do. I carry it a while, deciding if it solves a problem, or serves a purpose. If not, after a while, I let it go.

My neighbor is taking the Hedge down to about 3', to my amazement. He talked about wanting his privacy. Apparently, we are not a threat to that, proven over years now.

I spent some time gently digging the front garden and putting down clover and mustard seed. We shall see.

On the 21st, going to a training to support the March for our Lives on the 24th, local. I will accrue 1st Aid materials in anticipation. For blisters and sore knees, cuts and dehydration. General care. Use what I have.

Our bedroom is next. Still have the natural fibre wallpaper we picked up at a yard sale. Have 4 rolls up, need to get another 4 up. I'm obeying my therapist and not doing it tomorrow. The dull OD green of the walls is getting to us. Got enough paint for what is left after the fiber covering is up. It's a purple, muted, but sill pretty.

Asked Dylan if we could buy the nice Japanese panels for the window. He says sure. I ask, not for permission, but assurance we can afford it, since he knows our finances best. So, given the go ahead, I decide what we have is sufficient, and do not spend more. Knowing I can is reassuring, then I prefer to make do. Imagining splurging, then scrounging, is ideal.