Dammit

Conversation at work yesterday about what we were not allowed as kids, and vowed to have as adults. She believed she would play all day, and no one would tell her what to do. I smiled and nodded, that was not quite what I meant. I wanted to be left alone when I wasn't hurting anything. Not to be yelled at, and taking it, because someone else was in a bad mood. Having to lie to sneak a little extra food when I was hungry. Being told "facts" that were wrong, and I had to agree. So, when I did become an adult, I was able to make my own decisions.

So, Ten Things.

1. I can eat a handful of chocolate chips, and I don't have to put them in cookies or baked desserts. I can eat a spoonful of peanut butter, right out of the jar, without having to hide it from anyone.

2. I can put my feet on the sofa. It's my sofa. Although I don't stand on it often, I can. I also always take off my shoes when I come in the door, so that's alright.

3. I do not go to church. I don't have to go every week. I don't have to listen to that kind of talk.

4. I don't drink milk at all, nonetheless at every meal. I chose what I eat. And if I make a botch of a meal, I choose to eat anyway. Or not. I don't have to "clean my plate."

5. I don't immediately, and sweetly, answer every question asked of me by anybody. Sometimes I stay silent, sometimes I think about it a long time, sometimes I ignore questions. It's not an obligation.

6. I don't have to kiss anyone goodnight that I don't want to.

7. I can sleep in my clothes, if I want to. Or naked. Or with my head at the foot of the bed. And I go to bed when I want to.

8. I keep my hair at the length I want, and I don't have to have it cut or permed. I don't have to have bangs, or not tuck my hair behind my ears. I do have to wear a hat at work, but I chose this line of work*, so ultimately - that's my choice as well.

9. I can swear. I try not to at work, as a professional habit, but dammit, that's up to me. I choose my words, when and where and how.

10. I can stand in the cold, not wear a sweater, and not catch a cold - oh, wait, that's what I do for a living. I choose when to wear more clothing, or not bother. Yes, I am wearing that out, mind your own damn business.


*This is how I dealt with the authority issues in the military. I signed up to that set of rules and expectations, so I was, in essence, giving myself orders. Likewise, I never minded (for long) when I had to do things, if I understood (and agreed with) the reasons or the results.