Should

Long ago, I saw a student production of a pretty forgettable play. But a phrase out of it has been stuck in my head ever since, and I find myself still saying it. "Should'a, could'a, would'a, if my aunt was a man she'd be my uncle."

Should never helps. Just because one has plans doesn't mean life will cooperate. Putting in effort does not guarantee results. Hope is more often dashed than fulfilled. Dreams fall apart on contact with waking life. Belief has fueled a lot of misguided missions. We can always choose to love, and find happiness, and live well. But we can never demand love of others, expect to be given what we think we need to make us happy, nor force health and wealth out of the world for ourselves. Life does not guarantee our next breath, why do we so often think we are owed a One True Love, a Great Career, Happiness! and Health? Or any of a number of benefits?

Lucky to be alive.

I once read an interpretation of the Pandora story, where the final evil was leaving humanity with hope. That desire to hold on and keep on trying, beyond reason, and to call it a virtue. Hope, not as the opposite of hopeless, but as the kind of idealism that keeps us from actually solving a problem, instead merely wishing it will get better. Wishes are chocolate kettles.* If wishes worked, a lot of awful people would be dead, I should know.


Worn out and squished out, will be better in a day or so.


*That waxy chocolate that tastes of chalk.