I was reminded of my first Easter egg hunt. My brother Bill took me, though I am not sure why. He was a kind and attentive brother, gentle with my tears and scrapes. But even he could not read my young mind. As I stood among the pressing throng of other children, I spotted several eggs. When the signal went off, I stood, waiting for all the other children to run off, and I would pick up the egg I had seen. This did not work out well. Nor did I, hanging back and expecting to find what the hoard would not, get any eggs in the end.
Not unlike my first encounter with a slide with a flock of other children already there. I waited patiently for them to finish, and go away, so that I could play. Urged in by family, I pressed in, appalled at the crush, slid down once, and called it more than enough. This was not my idea of fun. Haven't got much competitiveness at all. Grew up more or less alone, and ultimately preferred it that way.
I often quote Jamie Hyneman, "I kinda like it in here. It's private."
I have since come to enjoy mixing in a crowd, but not when we all have the same goal. I float through the masses, with my own agenda, or none at all, invisible among them.
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I was okay in the school yard and at the park when there were other kids there. It was more with organized sports that I couldn't really get into it. I tried a variety of different ones to see if there would be one that 'took'. None did. I couldn't bring myself to care enough about winning and so I perceived that I would end up letting down the team.
Stuck with tree climbing, canoeing, riding my bike long distances and playing with my neighbourhood friends.
Yup, with you there. I don't care about winning either.
(I think you'll be a really interesting teacher.)
I don't mind crowds in the strangers in a city sense, but mixing in crowds is just a tiring ordeal for me.
Phil,
When I had to play softball with the girls in class, and they yelled at me if I made a mistake (in a game where I did not know the rules), I made sure to not pay attention at all. Why should I try to win for people who shouted at me, when I certainly didn't care about the score? Got some reading done in the outfield. The occasional ball rolling by bothered me not at all.
Pacian,
I like it occasionally, but it does get tiring.
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