So relieved to know I have tomorrow off work, unlike the last month, as I worked at least part of every one of my usual days off. That I had the holidays just doesn't count. It's the number of days in a row at this sort of work. Thirty hours in three days just hurts.
A friend kept talking about an "older woman" he'd spent time with recently, who referred to herself as an "old woman." Repeatedly. I had to ask him to stop, since she is my age, and I am not old. Oh, my body feels old because of the damned pain issue, but I'm not old. Middle aged, sure, fine, not something I fixate on, but reasonable. And I've used the phrase when the young residents drop stuff on the floor that I have to pick up... actually, I then tell them I have an old back, and ask them to pick it up. Which is different. I may even say I feel old on particular days. Even "old lady" I've ironically used, clearly in jest. Gettin' there, but good gods, not there. Over 60, well, that probably begins the qualification. When I worked mostly with the elderly, that was still pretty young. Now, 80, 90, that's really getting up there.
As for not staying up late and partying, I never did. Midnight has been very, very late to me all my life. Strongly diurnal, me. Do better getting up early most days, can't keep late hours. Never pulled an allnighter, even in my 20s. Worked periods of night shifts, and about killed myself doing it, since I can't sleep more than a nap during the day. Never been a high energy person, short bursts only, get a job done then collapse. Nothing new, not a matter of age.
I know what old looks like. The oldest looking people smoke, do meth, don't walk. I know my experiences of the past six years or so have etched the time on my face. I look my age, and fair enough. Most days, I don't quite remember the number, and have to really think about it, am I 48, or going to be 48 shortly? Not that it matters. If my back didn't give me so much crap, I'd feel no different than when I was 30.
11 comments:
I'm with you on never having pulled an all nighter. Haven't been able to make it to midnight the past three New Year's Eves. This makes me weird to my peers, but I could care less. A good sleep rules all.
I'm happy to think I look my age. But I dont want to look older than my 56 years. I cant bear the cosmetic surgery induced swollen blank canvases that call themselves faces though.
I think of myself as middle aged, but I dare say that when I get to 60, my idea of old will start at 70...and when I'm 70, and so on...
At 62, old to me is 80-85. If I am fortunate enough to make to that age, I wonder when I will think I am old?
:)
I imagine I will start to feel old if/when my children have children. If none of them do, perhaps I will never feel old.
I've not been much of a late night person either, mind you, there were two separate extraordinary situations in my life where I spent about 80 consecutive hours each time without even a nap.
I reckon life begins at 50. Did for me any way.
my mother was old at 30. State of mind.
I will be old only when I can't remember who I am.
Jessica,
A vastly underrated necessity, sleep.
Rosie,
Forgot that one, anyone with cosmetic surgery doesn't exactly look old, but they look weird and inhuman. Old is ahead of us, when we are ready to let go, I suspect.
Crow,
Such a movable feast...
Phil,
I've never gone that long without a nap, my brain just shuts down intermittently. Have gone several days without more than a doze, good thing I didn't have to actually think about anything, and I had a lot of people around me.
Den,
My dear cousin assures me life begins at 50, and I'm happy to believe her. So much left to go, no sense quitting early.
Quick, take this (o) before I try and make a joke about age.
Oh, you're a child. How I'd love to be 48. Or 49.
Isabelle,
Now, now. No need to be condescending. Would you have liked being called a "child" at 48? Or 38? Even 28? I won't call you a crone, don't call me a child - deal?
Pacian,
(grabbing stone)
Have started calling myself middle-aged at 50, but doubt I'll live to 100. Still feel 28 inside, so I'll settle for that.
having more body pain, being less limber, feeling more tired, being less strong, having to be careful with my back and neck, searching for the right word in the middle of a conversation - all of these have been signs of aging for me. i don't feel like i did when i was 30 for sure. but i still do all nighters from time to time and can go with little sleep as often as i want without falling on my face. nonetheless, i am and feel old now, and my body tells me so every cold, rainy day!
hahaha word verif is "rains!"
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