R is for Ring.
Both ting and chime, as well as circle around the finger. Eternity in a bit of silver.
Very early on, D and I discussed marriage. Well, we both knew, even then. And one of the first issues D brought up was not being able, or really willing, to buy a ring. I was confused, this is a problem? Never had any interest in the standard ceremonies, never even liked diamonds, knew from experience that function does not follow form. A good wedding in no way makes a good marriage, and I suspect there may be an inverse effect. And diamonds are a scam, they are not rare, should not be expensive, and all involve exploitation. Carbon, coal with attitude.
D found a pretty silver ring at the PX in Ft Carson, and I wore that for years. Lost, sadly. We took a trip to Green River right before the legal wedding, and he found a kokopelli ring, and I found a set of silver rolling rings, for the ceremony - knowing D would never wear them any other time. He liked fidgeting with them, though. I lost that wedding ring, in the OR. Got scrubbed in quickly, put it in my scrub pocket, got nauseated and had to scrub out, went home, then realized the ring was gone. Never found it. A couple of years ago, we found a near match at a Lava Hot Springs souvenir shop, and I've worn that ever since. Mostly, this is just because I rather like wearing a ring, and D plays with it when he holds my hand. All these rings together never cost more than $50.
All of these were, for me, just decoration, a sort of durable toy, a gift too, of course. The idea of it being intrinsically expensive would just worry me. To lose the equivalent of a month's pay, just lose it off my finger, would be a nightmare. Anything I can't wear every day would be even more of a waste, since I so rarely do anything dressy.
Rings do not a marriage make, nor diamonds eternity.
3 comments:
I too bought my own gold wedding band, 2 years after our wedding, setting the theme for our path onwards together. If I want something, I look to myself to get it and no longer pine and whine about "the way it ought to be". Emotional blackmail does not come from strength nor lead to satisfaction.
I have a gold very simple wedding band, it is the second one as I lost the first one on the beach in Hawaii on our honeymoon.
I also have this ring.
Apart from my digital watch these are the only accessories I own or wear.
So glad you said that about diamonds, they're horrid things I think. I've never liked that kind of jewellery. Many semi-precious stones appeal, but I like beads and wood and shell just as well.
I can't wear much on my fingers, they always seem to get in the way. Tom asked my jeweller niece to make our rings, and they are sleek and simple, no problem there, and a celtic knotwork one, no stone, he gave me before stays on the same finger, but even that gets bits stuck in it sometimes.
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