Clipped

When Moby pulls away his paws, I know he doesn't want his claws clipped. When he starts mewing/growling, I know he is insisting that he doesn't want his claws clipped. When he avoids me for an hour after, I know he REALLY didn't want me clipping his claws, and didn't like HOW I did it either. Generally, I only get to the first two stages of objection.

When Moby stands in the edge of the kitchen first thing in the morning, tail up, not moving, and I pick him up, he purrs and noses my face. So I guess that he wanted the hug, and is feeling affection.

When we step over him in the middle of the hallway, and he hardly notices, I assume that he trusts us not to step on him. Likewise when I lay my head on his body gently, and he yawns, that he is expressing trust.

When I sneeze and he looks at me with ears back, looking startled, and we say "It's ok Moby, everything is fine" and he puts his head back down, it means he was startled, but accepts our reassurance.

When he mews loudly at the front door, and his tail is all bushy, and he startles and runs, he is bothered by something.

When he stares wild eyed at me, in wide stance, then scampers off when I move a little, I guess that he wants me to chase him, or otherwise play with him. When i chase him, then he stops and flops, it means he wins the game, and I must now give him a cat massage.

When I reach to pet him and he walks away, I guess he is not in the mood for squishy stuff. When he comes and sits by us, we guess he wants to hang out.

When he sees the fluffy white bath mat on the floor in the bathroom, he assumes it is there for him to pee on. When he pees on the floor of the bathroom, either his litter boxes have not been adequately changed, or he misses (like many males do) or he just doesn't feel like using the tub, this time. I suspect his perhaps neglectful former owner didn't take care of the litter as Moby would have liked, and he has a list of alternative toilet areas, in case.

It took me a while to realize this wasn't any kind of malice on his part. Fastidiousness, yes. And me yelling was just proof to him that I was crazy and erratic. Not that he was doing anything wrong, since cats, not being hierarchical, don't think in terms of appeasing a more dominant animal. But when they love, they love. Which is part of why neither of us have scratch marks.

Taking care of the cat at the Humane Society the last time, the other volunteer sprayed her hands with the disinfectant, and the cat I had freaked. It wasn't until I got home that I realized why. The abandoner had used the spray bottle to punish the cat. Cats don't respond well to punishment, most animals don't. This is not new information. Cats in particular simply see the punisher as an untrustworthy being, and become fearful.

But if you have seen the Moscow Cat Circus, or the Vegas Greg's Cats, it's all a matter of observation and patience, and love. The same intention behind dog training (maybe better described as dog communication), using somewhat different methods for a different species with a different social structure. It's respectful, and expectant and positive.

But many people don't even do this for their children. So, what can we hope for?

A change. Slowly, or when we get to a human tipping point, or whatever it takes. When we finally come to know that we cannot punish, that retribution is not effective, that we have to start right at the beginning, and we cannot ever assume we know what anyone else intends.