Rats

My 4 yr old next-door neighbor wanted to come give me a hug when she heard that my mother died. She did, then told me I had Elsa hair. I told her I thought her hair was beautiful, which it is. Congolese/Persian hair, exuberant and gorgeous. A bright and lovely human she is. I hadn't planned on telling her mom, my lovely neighbor who vies with us to see who can bring in each other's trash bins faster. Circumstances made it more graceful to mention.

My head and my heart were always coping quite well. My body remembered being part of her, and reacted accordingly, or so I have figured out. The two year old that Aunt Alma* cared for, for two weeks when my mother was in hospital for a hysterectomy, sobbed.

Head: Don't look at me, I'm not even thinking about this.
Heart: Hey, all I'm feeling is anger and relief.
Body: (Incohate keening, projectile tears.)

Unpack that* if you like, I've done it a few times, and it still feels a bit off. Aunt Alma held off getting Gigi, her poodle, until after, so she wouldn't be taking care of a new puppy's first weeks, and a toddler she didn't really know well. I've heard, not from her, that she had been some kind of nurse. My mother rationalized that was why she was so unsympathetic around anyone who was sick. I found her always kind and generous, and practical.

My mother was sympathetic, but not very useful. Not quite as aggressively useless as my father. Why the everfuckinghell did these people have children?


As we sat playing the game in the dining room yesterday, Eleanor stared out the front window. Intently. In proper Mouse Stalking Posture. I looked out, and sure enough, there was a rat. We're looking into getting a rat-zapper, for the basement, since we don't let the cats down there. Any that get in the house proper will be savaged. We don't know if Zeppo knows how to kill, but Eleanor surely does, and he learns fast. I nearly feel sorry for the creature. Almost.

We picked up sale soil at the garden center yesterday. Two women, employees, separately, raved about my purple hair. To me, it's faded quite a bit, but I only see it in the mirror. Perhaps out in daylight, and from the back, it's more impressive.

Cleaned a couple of pots to plant grass inside for cats. Cleared away the harvested wheat, sowed it and saved a jarful for cat-grass, as well as the oats. Maybe not put rat-food out in a convenient feeding dish, a bin and basket on the front porch.


*My father couldn't work and take care of his child. My older brothers I think went with different relatives, at least on weekends, while still going to school and taking care of themselves during the week? He refused to let her sister, my Aunt Evelyn take care of me? Whatever went on there, Aunt Alma took good care of me, and our long attachment and friendship, laid down a solid foundation then.