Yesterday, I visited a comic site I check in with periodically. It had been hit by malware, and I managed to get to a page to contact the writer. Today, I got a thank you from him, letting me know he'd gotten it sorted, and the offer of one of his drawings. Normally, I would demur, this is not why I reported the problem. That is more to do with my training, which admittedly feeds into my natural inclination to butt in. But this was one of those offers that really mean something, and to refuse seemed downright silly.
Now, if he forgets, that's fine. But sometimes it's important to accept and be gracious. Not one of my stronger traits.
Indeed, I have always felt that any truth more important than the friendship needs to be told, at the risk of the relationship. QED. That if everyone else was standing back, afraid to look foolish, be a target, then I had to do it. Didn't want to, but sometimes someone needed to seem the bad guy to get anything done. And when on those rare occasions someone stepped up and gave me the hard truth at the risk of my anger or hurt, I always admired them - even through the dismay.
This has lost me a number of friends. Unsurprizingly. I knew the risk. I wish more people had given me the hard truths more often, earlier. The ones who didn't lost my respect, in the end, over time. Not that I imagine they mind.
This time, I had to play to my weakness, saying yes, thank you, that would be lovely. Fighting every self deprecating reflex in my heart.
I hope he does send a drawing. It will be cherished. I won't mind if he forgets, though.
Oh, the site. Yes, well, it's called Domestic Abuse.
It's funnier than it sounds. Watch for the little eyes.
3 comments:
I suppose I might have the English habit of the white lie, which might otherwise be known a 'chickening out'.
I enjoy the link, and hope you get your sketch.
I send you special greeting from an exhausted UK, totally Queenfested out!
Yep, honesty sometimes has a cost. Usually the benefit outweighs.
RR,
I think it's a personal failing, really. Not one I would change about myself, but it's not really a pleasant trait.
Phil,
This is what I think, but it does leave hard feelings so often. I'll always choose truth, or at least avoiding lies as much as possible. Most people seem to prefer comfort and niceness.
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