Lost

By trauma hospital standard, today was a good day. Which is to say, any day when everyone gets out alive, it's a good day. Other than that, I did, after some initial bumps, get to work with a familiar surgeon - as promised. In that unfamiliar place. The last time I had to go up to the Big Hospital, the OR was still under massive reconstruction, but after a few times close together, I got so that I could find my way around. This time, probably nearly a year since the last float up there, I just couldn't get my bearings at all, despite the completion of the project. Since I only had two cases, at least I didn't have to venture out quite so often.

The first patient came with known problems and one big unknown problem. After we were all prepped and draped, the anesthesiologist asked the surgeon to wait. She spotted something on the monitor, and did a rarely done test, and found a critical issue, that an elective surgery could turn into, well, death. So, we took everything down, refrained from an incision, and after a number of to and fros with various people calling for consults and ICU beds, telling PACU yes, then no, then yes staying intubated, then maybe, then yes and patient is awake and fine (considering.)

I got lost several times coming back from PACU.

One of the nurses from my Home Hospital had a huge gap in her day, so she came and got me out for a break to eat at noon, for which I was very grateful. The lounge was very crowded and talkative, not to include me. So I ate in 15 minutes and went back. My own little comfort zone, only barely got turned around on the return trip. When the official lunch relief nurse turned up at 1310, I had no interest in leaving the room again, not being hungry, nor wanting to be mislaid again.

Left about 1430, followed signs to the train, and got utterly turned about, so that I wound up exactly where I started, somehow, which is odd considering how far down I walked, and how little up. I may have gotten stuck in an eddy in the space/time continuum. Tried again with the same route taken up in the morning, which worked.

Moby a very loud and boisterous cat last night, much scratching at doors, rustling of blinds, even mrrks, running and plopping down on my legs. From about 0230 on, I got only snatches of sleep, interspersed with worried thoughts. and the alarm went off at 0530, an hour early to make the trek up. (For up it is, a vertical mass of buildings on the side of the foothill.)

Today, I was not in any state of mind to be lost. Most days, I can cope with that, sometimes I enjoy it. I was a traveling nurse, I lived three years in Boston, I can appreciate the joys of finding my way. Not this day.