There are days I really would like to be better at my job. When I remember being sharper, more knowledgeable, stronger, quicker. When I could scrub a liver transplant with assurance, and have opened everything I needed. I'm not as good anymore. Still safe, still fine, but not high speed. I don't scrub enough to ever get that good again. And my physical limitations means I can't be Super Nurse circulating anymore, either.
This isn't a terrible realization, just a little sad, once in a while.
I was the resource nurse today, helping out in every room, relieving nurses and techs for lunches, running around, getting little things, stepping in to be an extra set of hands, speeding up room turn-overs between cases. It's a small place, there aren't orderlies who do the cleaning and fetching, no specific sterile core tech to retrieve items, the scrub techs and nurses have to be able to do all of it, with a few aides to assist. A lot of somewhat odd cases, and patients with difficult physiology, lots of hard crunchy bits that added up to a difficult, but still good day.
A new per diem nurse, orienting so she can fill in occasionally, started feeling very unwell. As the free person, I got her to a quiet place, did other nursey things to help her cope. She was so grateful, but honestly, this is what we do, take care of sick people. Including our own. Never knew a bunch of nurses who don't rally around a fellow staff member who got hurt or became ill, not in the OR at least. And we've had practice, especially with those new to this microclimate. I've caught a couple of falling nurses, and helped many fainting techs, this is not unusual.
Have to float up to the Big Hospital tomorrow, up early to catch the train, and wonder where everything is all day. I've done it before, it's doable. Must be brave and carry on, and all will be well.