Ma'am

Dooce writes about being called Ma'am. Like her, I've found most women hate it, equate it with being called "Old woman" or even "matronly." Sad, that being a grown woman is felt to be such an insult. When the last generation fought so hard not to be called Girl. (Or honey, sweetie, dearie, chick, broad, dame, etc.) Same generation now seems to want to be Girls.

Me, I like Ma'am! I like the respect, the deference to the gathering years. Partly it is because I did the military thing, and female officers are Ma'am. Like Sir, but with a tinge of fear. I don't care for Mrs. Can't say I've ever been called Mrs.S, or Mrs. W. The title before the name has disappeared from this culture, even in written form it's very rare. And not missed, since it clearly denoted married status. I asked for Ms if there was a form requiring a title, many years ago. Can't remember the last time that was even an issue. But the Miss, Mrs. Ms. means a last name will follow. Ma'am is for short, for if the name has escaped memory. It would be useful for those of us who never could remember names well, but it causes so much unintended offense.

All in all, I'm glad to simply use my two names, or just one, either one. (In the Army, it was just my last name, and I will respond to the current last name quite well, still.) Kept my original (mostly unpronounceable) "S-Alphabet" name throughout the first "marriage." Took me seven years for me to share D's family name (W), due to being in school, military, where the change would have been an unnecessary complication. This week we had a hard time finding a patient who had to reschedule her surgery. She'd gotten married in the two week gap, and confusion ensued, because she also changed her name in the interim.

But, for me, ma'am will do.