Slide

I remember the day. We were going to a slide that was as tall as a building. I asked over and over again how tall it was, trying to get the size, the idea of it, into my mind, never quite did. Mom and aunts, cousins and brothers, two cars, a grand outing. But after much searching, it seemed the slide was gone, no evidence it had ever been there. Although I have seen such huge slides since, I have no idea what that one looked like. A family legend, a strange sort of mystery for me still.

So we stopped at a park to picnic. There were long teeter-totters, big enough for all the kids to get onto, which we did. As the smallest one there, I was sat in front, a brother holding me. This is all I remember, until I was surrounded by everyone staring down at me lying in the sand, and my head bursting. I could barely catch my breath as I sobbed uncontrollably. I heard "She's gonna have quite a goose-egg!" This confused me more in my agony. I tried to only whimper, because that hurt my head less. Ice was wrapped in a cloth and put on my head. I had no idea what had happened, sitting there in the sand.

All the older cousins, and my brothers were criticized for putting me on the overloaded see-saw. I heard the stories, they said I flew through the air. I was sad I couldn't remember this, as it sounded rather fun. But then they said I hit my head on the center bar, the fulcrum, a substantial metal pipe, which seemed to me improbable. I was jollied along, more talk of my having a goose egg, they calmed me somewhat, but the pain really was astonishing, worse than after having my tonsils out. I would find out what a goose-egg was, as the bump on my forehead swelled and turned colors. I felt I had ruined the day, and any chance for the elusive slide to be suddenly found.

I think about this now, and realize I had a concussion- by definition a hit on the head causing unconsciousness. I wonder about my migraines, which may well have started with this accident. I wonder who was there, and if anyone else remembers now- especially since I am not entirely clear which cousins. I wonder if taking me to a hospital was even considered, or if it would have made any difference if they had.

I was thinking about lying in the dirt and an ice cold cloth on my head- and finding it unbearable. This is one of those odd moments from my recent acute incident- I pushed away what felt like ice in a cloth on my head, explaining that wet was nice, but the ice was unbearable.

I have been having more flashbacks today.