Moose
Getting cranky in my old age. But, well, I don't like to be messed with. Got a request for a submission from someone unfamiliar, and assumed it was spam. Convinced when they put a comment on this site. I distrust any kind of pushiness. Selling me a bill of goods, I assume. Always. Anyone trying too hard is intrusive. If it's not an outright scam, it's certainly not honest and legit. I continue to turn inward, hostile and distrustful. A fearful, nipping, growling cur. Raw nerves, all bumped.
I have come to the awareness that I will never make any income with my writing. There are way too many really good writers out there. I am not one of them. The business does not interest me. And I absolutely do not want to be the Nurse that Writes. No. Not even close. I will not, do not, can not represent other nurses, the way they think, their view of the work. I see it from a very different perspective that is not representative. I take it very seriously, but it is a job, not an identity.
The novel will never gel. I know this as well. I may allow myself to fantasize about it on long nights, but it's not going to happen. Not even close. Anymore than I will ever do a podcast of any interest.
Not going to class tonight. Have not played this week, aside from about fifteen minutes. Not up to the frustration of last week, not today, not tonight. I can't remember what an A or G feels like at all this week either.
If the call for submissions was legit, this was not a day for it. Bad luck them. I'm in too much of a mood of self immolation, hiding state of mind to react otherwise. This post belongs on the other site, but I don't care enough to move it.
I have come to the awareness that I will never make any income with my writing. There are way too many really good writers out there. I am not one of them. The business does not interest me. And I absolutely do not want to be the Nurse that Writes. No. Not even close. I will not, do not, can not represent other nurses, the way they think, their view of the work. I see it from a very different perspective that is not representative. I take it very seriously, but it is a job, not an identity.
The novel will never gel. I know this as well. I may allow myself to fantasize about it on long nights, but it's not going to happen. Not even close. Anymore than I will ever do a podcast of any interest.
Not going to class tonight. Have not played this week, aside from about fifteen minutes. Not up to the frustration of last week, not today, not tonight. I can't remember what an A or G feels like at all this week either.
If the call for submissions was legit, this was not a day for it. Bad luck them. I'm in too much of a mood of self immolation, hiding state of mind to react otherwise. This post belongs on the other site, but I don't care enough to move it.
Posted by Zhoen on Wednesday, October 12, 2011
5 comments:
I know how you feel. It took ages for a perfectly sincere German woman who wanted to make a sort of prose-poem audio file / music tape out of one of my blog posts to convince me she was real.
But there's no reason why you couldn't make money writing, if you wanted to!
I've made about 13$ over at Hubpages, so I can't say I haven't made money writing.
As for pushiness, I am with you, it is most unwelcome.
I find my attitude with respect to many things is not particularly representative of the norm. For example, I find it perfectly appropriate to append the word 'fish' at the end of any number of blog posts.
I am not working on a novel; I am working on an anthology of blog posts.
(o)
Tonight I toast you with a locally brewed Brown Ale ... a tasty one! Because I'm getting boozy in my old age ... balances out the crankiness. Yes it does!
Dale,
Only if I wanted to deal with the business. I don't/
Phil,
Wow, well in that case...
Rou,
And I'm having Old Rasputin. I'd gladly share with you.
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