Again

 I will try again. It's never a matter of how many mistakes we make, it's that we always correct them once more. 

Tomorrow I start my sixth decade, and although I know it does not make me very old, it is certainly the first step. I'm a baby-granny, as it were. Ok, I kinda hate that word, but I'll let it sit there anyway. 

Writing is important to me, but there are times when it needs to settle and germinate underground. Even I don't know what it's doing down there right now. Fighting fear with numbness is familiar to me, and that is what I have been doing. Hope does not come naturally, I learned early on not to trust it. 

And I've gone down the reddit rabbit hole, which both soothes and drains me in near equal measure. I am also on read-only-tweeter, which is easier to switch off. Still, I need to keep an eye on it all, even if I cannot change it, I want to know what might fall on me. On us. That is pretty much all I've been reading. I've tried a few novels, but aside from Pratchett in small doses, I can't seem to get stuck in. 

Watching Richard Osman's House of Games lately.  One of the prizes is a duvet set, which we've been peripherally aware of as a thing before, but never looked into. I did some research, checked the balance on my inheritance, and found a good 50%off sale locally.  We shall try this, since bedding has always been a frustrating issue for us. An experiment. We shall see. So far, I like them (twin duvets,  one each.)

Used henna on my hair, which - last batch - only tinted my hair a bit.  This batch went clown-orange, and I'm trying to add enough blue dye to at least tone it down until it eventually fades. Bother. Bugger. 

Cats are well, they love when we read in bed early, they come in and flop on us to get massages and belly rubs.  They like the blanket on the table, which keeps them from too much interference with our games of Codenames.  Even when we are not there. I think the heating vent and humidifier placement make it even more attractive to them. 

Listened to a radio program about ex-mormons who take psychedelics.  Remembered when I was a kid, all the church talk of saints and visions, and I prayed NOT to be one of them. I figured it would terrify me, and I prayed to be spared.  I think this was a wise choice, all in all.