Monday, November 07, 2011

Gentleness

My mother called, D didn't recognize the number so didn't answer, but I called right back. Better that way, with voip I don't pay long distance, which took a bit to convince her. She told me when she'll be moving to Texas, near her oldest son, next month. And I spoke to her as I would a nervous patient, kind, calm, lightly joking, reassuring. As we spoke, I began to realize my only decent choice was to use this as an opportunity for grace, for both of us. Expect nothing, pour out gentleness.

I do think she should get online, if only because it has become nearly as important as having a telephone was when I was small. A way to keep up with her grandchildren by email. I could send her photos. But there is time, and no need to run ahead. Let her settle, find her new reality for a while, first. I'll have to get SIL & brother ok with it as well, since they will have to do the hook up and support, although I will send the macbook if so.


No one's fault. No one to blame. Nothing needing to be done. Nothing owing, everything entire.

3 comments:

Lucy said...

Sounds like you're playing it by ear very well.

Phil Plasma said...

Your intuition appears to be intact.

Rosie said...

Gentleness and generosity seem to be good for your soul.
I had a falling out with my family when I was in my early twenties. It was entirely my fault. I was an impossible only child tortured with insecurity and not nice to be around. After a break where we had limited and distant contact we started to build things again. We did it by taking nothing for granted and treating each other with the respect due a stranger. It worked, and we became as close as those two generations ever could be.