Friend
I met an old friend. We first got to know each other twenty three years ago. We chatted at the work picnic, (her sister and D work in the same place.) She dropped the friendship years ago, casually, unofficially, but quite clearly. It ached, but I respected her decision, even if I didn't quite know the reason. Perhaps I bored her, or vaguely offended her, or just rubbed her the wrong way over the years.
I wish I was a better friend, I have no real long term friends, other than Moira, and friends shared with D. Maybe I've figured it out, but can't apply it retroactively. I can only be where I am right now, and do what I can now.
Or maybe, as we get older, we settle to people.
D still seems happy with me, knowing me utterly. And Moby, when deeply asleep, barely stirs when I put my hand on him.
Labels: Moby-Photos
Posted by Zhoen on Saturday, August 29, 2009
8 comments:
Moby has a silken sheen I find irresistable. I love looking at your pictures of him.
:)
He has lovely, soft fur, and a thick double coat.
(o)
(oooooooo) this is a little pathway of stones from my catchup on your other posts
Rosie,
Oh, good, now I can find my way to the ketchup.
did you used to knock peoples doors when you were little to "come out to play". Do kids still do that I wonder? friendships seemed tinged with so much more excitement then. Probably cos everything was so new and you live in your bodies much more. And I hadn't learned the awful pressure of expectation. Theirs or mine.
den,
I did, to some extent. There weren't a lot of kids in my neighborhood my age.
That last line about Moby is so poignant and lovely...
I feel much the same about friendships. When I'm with people with a great gift for acquiring and maintaining lots of them, I feel that I'm just a bit different like that. Not that I'm unlikeable, or hard to get on with, not even really shy any more, but I sort of wonder how they do it. It just seems to cost me more. I used to run away a lot, now I just let things slide rather easily. And am afraid to seem needy. Anyway.
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