I met an old friend. We first got to know each other twenty three years ago. We chatted at the work picnic, (her sister and D work in the same place.) She dropped the friendship years ago, casually, unofficially, but quite clearly. It ached, but I respected her decision, even if I didn't quite know the reason. Perhaps I bored her, or vaguely offended her, or just rubbed her the wrong way over the years.
I wish I was a better friend, I have no real long term friends, other than Moira, and friends shared with D. Maybe I've figured it out, but can't apply it retroactively. I can only be where I am right now, and do what I can now.
Or maybe, as we get older, we settle to people.
D still seems happy with me, knowing me utterly. And Moby, when deeply asleep, barely stirs when I put my hand on him.