Affection
Affection was demanded in my original family. I had to be kissed and hugged, I had to kiss everyone present "good night" until I left home. I stopped giving a kiss good night to my parents at about age 13, so that I would not have to endure my father's embraces every night. I would kiss my mother only if he couldn't see.
Much as I love being touched and touching, I must have a choice, must give the choice to others. I take a while to warm up to people. In contrast to my ability to open myself up in writing, or for my patients, or for what I know will be very short term connections.
Probably why it didn't really bother me that it took Moby two months to decide to sit on me. And another few months to sleep on us. Only made me respect his discernment. For all that I can give a very energetic first impression, useful in finding jobs, I am really rather reserved by nature. Exuberant greeting is the compensatory act of a painful shyness, and a bone deep distrust of everything and everyone. I can push it aside with great skill, in my heart, I am closed and careful. Only those of proven integrity, over time, after much reassurance, get through.
This is not a trait I am proud of. Just one I have to deal with.
Thankfully, D took no offense, and kept laying out more proofs, until I could only be convinced.
Labels: Moby-Photos, Self portrait
Posted by Zhoen on Friday, February 20, 2009
7 comments:
(0)
Zhoen, I'm not sure what problems you're having with the comment section on my blog. I have noticed that I often get a message which says Blogger will not accept my comment, but when I hit the publish button again, it works. I did turn off the word verification if that will make things easier. Maybe I just need to migrate to another hosting service like Wordpress.
David,
It usually takes me two or three times to comment, which means I often just skip it. The word verification either doesn't come up, or it doesn't take it at all, then I give it one more shot, and it works. I'm pretty used to word verification, most people have it, and it really helps with commercial comments, so I urge you to just try another service. I haven't had trouble with other blooger word verification for a long time, so I have no idea why yours is different. It does look and act differently than other comment functions I've seen.
I noticed that your comment format is "Full Page" while mine was "Embed at end of post." Maybe embedding was the problem. I've changed to full page. Stop by some time and let me know if things are better.
Love the image. A comfy chair, books and an appreciative animal to soothe one.
This is interesting. My cat has never been a lap cat and is quite particular where, how and with whom she demonstrates affection. Sometimes we say that she takes after our daughter who never appreciated people barging into the territory of her personal space. People take such liberties with children and animals. But both cat and daughter are loving and affectionate.
These days an alternative to the obligatory goodnight kiss is the ubiquitous "love you".
RtheS,
Really has to be accepted as given, not demanded as wanted, exactly. Moby did not want to be held when we got home, but he rubbed and purred and stayed close all evening, and slept on me last night, hard to call that anything but warm affection.
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