For all those who so kindly sent healing intentions and steadfast encouragement,/ again, thank you. Now, the Update. I have been to Physical Therapy, which helped. And today another epidural injection. Which is causing an impressive amount of pain. Pain that was lost below my baseline last time. The doc pointed out the damage on the MRI, and being in a more receptive frame of mind, I could see evidence that, no, in fact, I had not been exaggerating my distress before. Holy herniation, no. Herniation that folded back up the spine. Oh. Well. I guess that was why it hurt so damn much. Eeek. Still, only at about a 6/10, right now. Bearable.

Moby slept on the foot of the affected side through the night last night. I'd shift, and he would simply sprawl further out over my leg. I've had dreams about him two nights running. One, he attacked a four foot bird with red wing feathers. The other, he simply waited as I met a crooked kitten, and wondered if he would like to have a fellow cat. The only phone I could find to call D, to see what he thought, only had three numbers. I only wish I had a cat spine.

No, I am not on the Neurontin again. Just acetaminophen. Ok, and Dos Equis.

Labels: ,


Blogger Jessie said...

Oh, zhoen, so sorry this is still a problem for you. The visual sounds pretty scary. What does the doctor say about the long term? Does this kind of thing eventually resolve on its own? Hugs (but very gentle ones!)...

Blogger zhoen said...

Often in series of three, actually. It should resolve with care and time. Surgery is not a good option for lumbar spine herniations, which is good cuz no way in hell am I having back surgery. A long, frustrating amount of time, from my POV certainly. And a general weakness in my back (ha ha like nurses have anything else ha).

Blogger Jessie said...

Yeah, the whole idea of back surgery is pretty scary. This has been going on for quite a while now, you must be getting really tired of dealing with it. I hope you're not having to do things at work that aggravate it. Would you take time off work if you could, or would you be too bored?

Blogger Mary said...

Just the word "herniation" in the context of the spine makes me wince. And your experience of epidurals is not dissimilar to mine ... may it settle down soon, dear Zhoen. Trying times.

But I am very taken with your Moby dreams. Particularly the first one.

Blogger herhimnbryn said...

Sending you positive vibes form OZ. I think your Moby 'knows'. Was he trying to keep you warm :).
The dreams were so vivid... I wonder their meaning?

Blogger zhoen said...

Jessie made a funny. Nurses in surgery never do anything to harm their backs, like lift heavy instrument trays, or move patients, or move the different kinds of operating tables needing for the orthopedic procedures (which are all ultra light and on brand new EZ-glide wheels! Really!!!)

(Terry Pratchett says three exclamation points are the sure sign of a deranged mind.)

I am taking this week off, (except for Monday, because I used up too much of my paid time off for my back last month.) I love boring. Boring means nothing is going wrong. I am using my vacation to... yes, take care of this miserable back issue.

No, no, I'm not tired of it at all. I am certainly not wanting to bite walls in frustration over it. Not at all. Stop looking at the teeth marks in the paint.

And I never use sarcasm when I am a bit overtired.

Mary, may you never have another epidural.

I think Moby was telepathically telling me that he would protect me from giant birds, or whatever it was that was bothering me. And that he would still love me if I were all twisted up. But, then, you never can tell with cats.

Thank you for all your continuted support. I'll be fine, really, eventually. D takes good care of me. As does Moby.

Blogger Patry Francis said...

Nurses and waitresses seem to fall prey to the same ailments. Sending good thoughts, zhoen. Not worth much, I know, but it's the best your distant friends can do. In the meantime, glad you have Moby and Dos Equis for comfort.

Blogger zhoen said...


I think waitressing is much harder. I know I couldn't hack it. And, yes, I do tip well. I only take orders from trained licensed people, who are hard enough work with sometimes.

Blogger Dale said...

Zhoen, I feel dreadful because I've swapped over to bloglines at last, gone to the dark side, but somehow One Word didn't get onto my list there. So I haven't been here for a while, or I'd have been sending encouragement and lots of xoxoxoxo's.

If you can find a massage person who really knows trigger points, that might help. By this time you've got to have referred pain all the hell over the place.


Blogger zhoen said...

I am very hopeful that this epidural is doing the job. Really, really, much better. Thank you all, again and again.

I will do the Physical Therapy for a while, and yes, I do know a great massage therapist. I just have to schedule a month ahead - which I will do when I am sure the acute crap is done with me.

Blogger Jean said...

I'm really shocked that you don't get any paid sick leave. I always thought nurses in the US had quite good working conditions - British nurses are always emigrating over there and saying how much better it is.

In a public (ish) sector job here I get three to six months (depends on how long in the job) sick leave on full pay (subject to doctors certificates and emotional blackmail from line manager, of course). I guess I should count my blessings.

Sending you all my warmest wishes to heal well. Your anatomical knowledge combined with your enormous perspicacity about your own nature should stand you in good stead.


Blogger zhoen said...


Actually, the paid time off here is pretty good. But, this was my first year in this hospital. Holidays and vacation days and sick days are bundled together. I will accrue this faster after my first year is done, next week. I will be eligible for long term sick hours, which are separate, after the first year.

Yeah, learning a new job in a big complex place while dealing with back pain throughout the first year. It's been a treat. I'm sure it's also why I have had more run of the mill illness, flu and migraines, this past year, using up my paid time off. I feel I am starting a new year, with much less stress. I will be getting more vacation, and not waste it on being sick. Prevention and all that.

Blogger MB said...

Zhoen, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Oh, ow, ow, ow. May you get some relief soon. I don't blame you for chewing on the paint — just make sure it's unleaded. Delicate but very loving hugs to you.


Post a Comment

<< Home